JWN: The Moment

The Moment
By: Joseph W. Norman

A recent series of my thoughts have revolved around this statement: “Learn from every interaction.” Over the past few years I’ve truly come to believe that we as humans can learn something from every person we meet. It could be a boy walking on the streets in Ghana, Africa or a CEO sitting across the conference room table. Both have value to add because they each have unique experiences and perspectives on this world we live in. The trick is to be open to learning from them.

My recent thoughts break this concept down just a little bit further to the communication piece. Please note I want you to think about communication in the broadest sense as most information is delivered non-verbally. Therefore, the interaction could be anything from a subtle smile or gaze to verbalized conversation, flirting, or banter. The truth is when two people share a connection at any level at some moment in time it can never be taken away. It happened and hopefully it was beautiful. But no matter the result, much can be learned from that experience.

I’ve expressed before that one of my personal philosophies is the desire to make a consistent positive influence on those I associate with on a daily basis. With my recent train of thought this has developed into an entire frame which relates to all capacities of interactions. It can be with friends, acquaintances, family, intimate partners, business colleagues, clients, and so on.

The frame is this: “I know that in this moment we spend together, thoughts will be expressed, verbally and non-verbally, and feelings will be felt. If this is the last moment we share, I’m comfortable with that if I can walk away knowing it was a positive experience.”

After an interaction I know that if my feelings don’t mesh with that frame, then I’ve been inauthentic in some way and there is something I need to learn in order to adapt and create more positive future experiences. It comes down to making an impact. If the smile and gaze I deliver makes someone feel warm and desirable, if the date I go on with a woman makes her feel energized and playful, or if the written words I share make someone think in a way they never have before, then I know I’ve made that impact. Nothing can take that away. It will forever remain a beautiful part of each of our pasts.

There is a concept which Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, calls a “deep bump.” It has been said that former President Bill Clinton has the ability to deliver a “deep bump” almost immediately with just his handshake and presence. No matter what your political views are, his charisma is unprecedented. What I think is important to consider is that we all have that same ability within us. With every interaction we have an opportunity to make a lasting impression. That is both exciting and challenging.

How do we manage that? First, we become conscious of it. By moving a part of our being to the conscious, it subsequently embeds itself in our subconscious where it can truly manifest into a part of our being. Please note, this is a very Napoleon Hill train of thought and it is one I put much value in. Our thoughts become things.

The truth is people come and go in our lives and the moments we spend with them are even more fleeting. I believe an affinity for that fact and an ability to be comfortable with ourselves and our interactions will result in much more fulfilling experiences. Once this concept is internalized then it can influence our behaviors more dramatically.

My challenge to you is to discover this fact on your own. Start to experiment with my communication frame and look at your interactions as a learning experience. My hope is that it moves you closer to being able to be you on your best day, every day.


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Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor that would love to meet you!
He can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

Karaoke: Not Just for the Fans

(Media Credit: Michelle Everett)

Karaoke: Not Just For the Fans

By: Joseph W. Norman

Uncomfortable in social settings? Struggling with your public speaking skills? Afraid of an upcoming event where you have to deliver a message to a large group of people? Ease your fears and master your emotions with a few nights of karaoke.

Sound ridiculous? At first I thought so too. The idea of using karaoke to ease performance anxiety and improve sales skills was introduced to me by a favorite author, Jeffrey Gitomer, a world class salesman and sales trainer. He is not a drinker at all but early in his career he would sing karaoke at least once a week to practice performing in an effort to improve his sales abilities. If you have read any of Gitomer’s work then you know that he is always poignant and definitely unconventional.

His thought was you have the perfect environment; a stage that is easy to get onto and an audience that is easy to please. As we say in the “biz,” I guarantee he “hammed it up” and was a real crowd pleaser.

Personally, I sang a little karaoke the other week at a local establishment in Fairport, New York. I hadn’t rocked the stage in quite some time so it felt good to get up there and cut loose with the vocal chords. You see, performance has always been an important part of my life. I’ve acted in a variety of musicals including; Oliver, The Music Man, Oklahoma, and my personal favorite, Footloose. They were a ton of work but an absolute blast. Unfortunately, in college I stopped acting but I did pick up the sporadic karaoke night.

What does this mean to you? Well, I believe you can take a few key things away from successful karaoke performances and relate them to life. Here are the Norman Style Karaoke Essentials and their corresponding life tips!

Karaoke Tip #1: “Screw it, let’s do it!” You’re nervous. But, it really doesn’t matter because you’re in a place where everybody wants you to succeed. And, besides that they won’t remember in the morning anyway. Take advantage of that!

Life Tip #1: Strangers care. When you’re put to the test with a performance or public speech know that the people watching want you to succeed. It is the human element. They might remember in the morning, but probably only if you really knock their socks off. What do you have to lose? Give them something memorable.

Karaoke Tip #2: Pick the right song. Feel the energy of the room and deliver the music they want to hear. I see too many people singing heartsick country music in an upbeat scene that just wants to hear you rock on some classic 80s one hit wonders. Take a little time with that song binder and give them a message and beat that resonates with their current energy level.

Life Tip #2: Know your audience. It is essential to know who is out there observing you. Feel their energy and adapt your message to meet it. Where are they coming from? Are they your personal or professional peers? What are you trying to say? How should it be delivered? These are all important questions to answer.

Karaoke Tip #3: Make it memorable. Your audience may be under the influence, but you can still make them remember you. Ham it up. Get a little unconventional. Invite someone on stage with you. Once in college I sang Cher’s “I Got You Babe” with a random forty five year old woman. I never saw that woman again but I made an impact on her in that moment. It was a lot of fun.

Life Tip #3: Make an impact. When you interact with someone always give them something to take away. If you teach somebody something they will remember you for that. Again, be unconventional and make it a positive experience.

Karaoke & Life Tip #4: There is no such thing as failure. You either succeed or you learn. Go into an experience and keep that in mind. Don’t fear failure but rather see it as a natural part of improving your life.

Karaoke & Life Tip #5: Have fun. Life is supposed to be fun. Don’t let Mother Nature or your karaoke audience down! If you are having fun, the people around you will enjoy themselves as well.

Although many don’t look at life through the eyes of a karaoke performer, some of these thoughts resonated with me recently so I wanted to share them with you. I never wanted to be an “Average Joe.” Grab some friends and give that local establishment’s karaoke night a shot!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor that would love to meet you!

He can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Take a Chance

Take a Chance

By: Joseph W. Norman

Sometimes it is the unexpected things we partake in which provide us with the most self-satisfaction. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. My challenge for you this week is to think about shots you’ve taken. Did you succeed? Or, did you learn? What opportunities are out there for you today in your personal or professional life? Are you going to take advantage of them?

The moral of this story is about opportunities. They mean nothing unless you take the risk of pursuing them.

Here’s the story from my life which inspired this train of thought:

It’s Monday morning and I’m on the phone having a casual conversation with my financial advisor, James Traylor, Director of the Special Care program for Mass Mutual in Rochester. He mentions an event he’s going to be set up at that weekend, the Autism JAM (website). “There’s a 5k. You should run it,” he says.

Mind you, I’m in good physical shape but I’m in the worst running shape I’ve ever been in. So, what do I say? “Screw it, let’s do it!” Richard Branson would be proud. I joke with friends and former teammates about winning the race the rest of the week. They laugh. I laugh. The idea is preposterous.

It’s Saturday morning. I wake up leisurely because the race is at 11:30 AM. My former race day routine takes shape naturally; some plain cereal with fresh fruit, a long hot shower to loosen up the muscles, and some peanut butter toast before I head out the door. I get to Mendon Ponds Park early to pick up my race packet and get acquainted with the area. Like Applebees, I’m feeling good in the neighborhood. No negative thoughts cross my mind on race day, no matter what shape I’m in.

The thought of victory is always on our minds. Everybody enjoys the feeling of success. As I warm up and mingle with fellow athletes, I’m psychologically squaring them all up in my mind. Thoughts of triumph become more pervasive when I see few others truly warming up.

It’s not that I was the only one racing, 152 people competed, but I didn’t see anybody with the freakish superstitions and pre-race routines that I’ve been accustomed to in my nine years of high school and collegiate running. OCD is child’s play compared to the routines of some of my former teammates.

The race director looks directly at me when she says “Good luck” to the competitors at the starting line. I’ve been pegged. Siren sounds. Oops! That was a practice run to figure out how the blow horn works. Did I mention this was a First Annual event? And now the gun goes off for real…

A little after a mile into the race I took the lead and got a new dose of will power. There is no such thing as running comfortably when you are in the front. You’re always scared out of your mind.

It’s an out and back course, so at the turn around I got a new set of fans; the people I was competing against. Weekend warriors are a different breed and a breed of which I have now become. I love them for their spirit. What it boils down to is the human element. At the end of the day, people want to see other people succeed.

I reach mile two of the rolling hilled course and I’m greeted with words of encouragement from a few complete strangers; Marvin and his son with a disability. Marvin yells, “I knew you were going to win.” I gave him and his son a smile and a silent fist pump and carried on. The mutual feeling between us was understood. We all have our own methods of communicating support.

My body instinctively picks up the pace because my heart and my mind do not want to let my new friend down. Did I mention how frightening it is to be in the lead? Mile two and half makes itself known with an aqua station wagon parked on the left side of the wooded road. I’m hurtin’ for certain. Only .63 miles to go. Not that I’m counting.

I see orange cones around the bend and through the trees. The finish line is within eyesight. What happened to the guy in second? Can I let up and ease it in? No way! I’ve never won a 5k road race before so I can’t relinquish the opportunity and let the sands of opportunity slip through my hand without a fight. Turns out I won by over a minute but he felt a lot closer than that.

This is a great metaphor for life. We have eyes in the front of our bodies for a reason. It is about moving full speed ahead at all times, not about dwelling on who is chasing us or what is behind us. If you consistently give the best of who you are and focus on moving forward, what is behind you will never outweigh what is before you and the experience of the now.

I cross the line victorious in 20:29, over three and a half minutes slower than my personal best in the 5k. My former teammates will never let me live that time down. They consistently run between 15, 16, and 17 minutes for the distance. Does their harassment faze me though? No. And, now for the moral of the story:

What mattered on that fateful Saturday was that I showed up. Despite my own insecurities about my level of fitness, I was the one that took the chance. The result: my first road race victory. It is funny how life challenges and rewards us.

In final, kudos to the tremendous work of Autism Speaks, the non-profit organization formed only four months ago which organized the Autism JAM 5k, Picnic, Raffle and Silent Auction (website). It was a fantastic and well attended all day event. And, of course, thanks to James Traylor who revealed the unsuspecting opportunity for success to me. More often than not it is the little things we do which make the biggest difference in people’s lives.

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor that would love to meet you!

He can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Hospitality

Hospitality

By: Joseph W. Norman

We all know the Golden Rule: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” This last week I’ve had the opportunity to work with a wonderful group of Upstate New Yorkers in an effort to express this universal fact with a global twist. We are hosting an honorable delegation from Ghana, Africa!

I was blessed to be part of a group which traveled to the African country last October. When we arrived (after the initial shock at the airport), we were provided the most heart warming hospitality I have ever experienced. It was truly remarkable. As for our delegation this week, we are simply trying to deliver the same thing we felt when we arrived to their home country.

This is a simple concept, but it resounds in a way we may never truly understand. Random acts of kindness can resonate through people we may never even meet! One small act could influence person after person after person. For example, in the case of our distinguished Ghanaian delegation, the influence of this trip will be the start of the consummation of a global partnership between the Genesee Valley area of Upstate New York and the Eastern Region in Ghana. It stands to exist for decades to come!

A few things that come to mind in respect to hospitality:

People deserve your best. You need to be ready and willing to give people your best at all times. Don’t short change the world. It needs you and your unique skills and talents right now!

Ask for help! There is no need to go it alone. The only way this incredible trip for the Ghanaians could have been put together was with a tremendous team effort. Don’t be afraid to seek out support for your efforts.

Be flexible. The only constant in life is change. You must be ready to adapt when it comes to event planning for your guests.

Have fun! This is the key tenant. A mutual positive energy will excite and comfort your guests. Comfort leads to more open conversations and willingness to learn the new culture.

In final, I would like to honor the delegation by telling you who they are!

Daasebre Professor Oti Boateng, Omanhene of New Juaben. Daasebre is a respected global leader. He has served on a variety of United Nation Commissions and is one of a select few Paramount Chiefs in Ghana. Now, he holds a Key to the City of Rochester!

Mrs. Comfort Oti Boateng, Wife and Life Partner of Daasebre Oti Boateng.

Hon. Kwasi Boateng Adjei. Kwasi is the Municipal Chief Executive of the New Juaben Municipal Assembly.

Dr. Michael Agyekum Addo. He is a Distinguished Pharmacist and Managing Director of Kama Group Ghana Limited.

Matilda Apria. Headmistress of a High School in Ghana.

The experience of hosting such a wonderful group of people has been rewarding. My hope is that you can take some of these thoughts and apply them to your daily life. Show the people around you what it means to be hospitable. You will be amazed by the results!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor that would love to meet you!

He can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Philanthropy

Philanthropy

By: Joseph W. Norman

“If you have learned anything from me through all of this, do something with it to make a difference - to make things better." - Melissa Marie Sengbusch (1981-2000)

Previously I’ve reflected on the well known tenant that the secret of living is giving. Well, this week I was blessed enough to be able to make a symbolic step towards putting that fact into action in my life. I officially joined my first non-profit board; Melissa’s Living Legacy Teen Cancer Foundation. This organization was founded by Lauren Spiker (VIP Profile) after her daughter Melissa’s death. It was created to fulfill the promise she made to Melissa in Melissa's final days. (Read Melissa's Story!)

I met Lauren at the beginning of this year through my friend and entrepreneurial mentor, David Mammano, Founder of Next Step Publishing (VIP Profile). Lauren and I connected over lunch and started to bounce ideas around about how I could help her organization. After many more meetings and much thought I made my formal commitment to Lauren by joining the board.

It’s always crucial to understand the, “Why?” of what you do. Thus, I would like to share the personal reasons why I joined Melissa’s Living Legacy Foundation. My decision was made in part because of my relationship with Lauren. Although I have not known her long, her passion for the organization’s purpose is unprecedented. Passionate people doing something they truly care about are unstoppable!

The next, and most important reason for me, is that the foundation’s mission correlates with one of my personal philosophies; “Consistently improve the quality of life for myself and those around me.” The primary purpose of Melissa’s Living Legacy Foundation is to positively impact the quality of life for adolescents with cancer. Statistically, over 50% of adolescents diagnosed with cancer die so helping them preserve and improve their lives as well as define their legacy is imperative. The Foundation facilitates this in some truly remarkable ways. (Check out the Foundation's website!)

So, what does this have to do with you? Make a commitment to yourself today to give a little bit more than you already do. Design that into your life. If you don’t have much money, give a little more time. If you don’t have time but you’ve got money, donate some of your resources. Quite simply, just do it! Find a great organization that supports a cause your passionate about and tap into your inner philanthropist!

A few people I know have done this in some unique ways. For example, my friend Justin Madden of The Jefferies Group recently competed in the Ironman Triathlon at Lake Placid. Leading up to the event he dedicated his race and rose funds for a colleague’s organization, The Kevin Armstrong MD Memorial Sports Foundation.

In addition, my brother Chris raised money for and competed in the EIF Revlon Run/Walk for Women in New York City while my oldest brother Jack organized an event at his work, L3 Communications, where people paid per paintball to shoot at him, a moving target. He did this to raise money for his manager’s wife, Ursula, who is battling cancer. These are just a few examples of things you can do!

Get creative! There are so many ways to give you just need to open your mind to the possibility. I guarantee the fulfillment you will feel from the work you do will be worth every penny and second you give!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor whose personal philosophy is to make a consistent positive influence on the people and communities he associates with on a daily basis!

He can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Reconnect

Photo Note: My oldest brother Jack and I at Eric and Michelle Canfield's wedding in Port Jefferson, New York.

Reconnecting

By: Joseph W. Norman

Whether we’re talking about business or personal satisfaction, the power of our network of relationships is an irrefutable fact. It seems though that we often focus on meeting more and more people to build that network, rather than drilling down a little deeper into the relationships we already have. It is crucial to reconnect!

This thought stems from my 1,500 mile jaunt across New York State in my little Honda Accord over the last week. With gas prices the way they are, reading that mileage figure probably just made you cringe. It did the same to my bank account. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t take a mile of it back because I got the opportunity to see a variety of old friends, crash a wedding (as my brother Jack’s date), and have a Norman Brothers’ reunion!

There is nothing better than a face to face reunion. Phone calls from old friends are fantastic, but a cup of coffee together is even better! Whenever I travel I try to make plans with somebody I haven’t talked to in a while as it’s my opportunity to reconnect and deepen a relationship! That is a practice we should never take for granted!

Your action plan:

Know where your friends live. This seems simple, but people are always moving. Know where your friends are so when you’re traveling through their city you can catch them in person. I keep a detailed log of my contacts on my laptop and in my Blackberry. Also, resources like Facebook, MySpace, and LinkedIn are helpful.

Plan a trip around an event. Get yourself away from the office and actually go somewhere! Vacation is not a crime, it’s a necessity! Take your car and a day or two and see who you can find. Most of my traveling revolves around business conferences or special events like concerts, weddings, reunions, birthday parties, etcetera. Both are opportunities to reconnect! My recent trip revolved around a Thursday wedding in Port Jefferson on Long Island.

Be flexible. Plans change so be ready to adapt. Always have a Plan B. If one door ends up closing, it doesn’t mean another couch won’t make itself available! I’ve exercised that one plenty of times!

Follow up. After the adventure, thank those you reconnected with for their time and hospitality. Be grateful for them and let them know it! Giving thanks is a wonderful feeling!

Just do it! Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself. What is your next reconnection trip going to look like? You don’t have to go far. The friends 10 minutes away are just as important as the ones ten hours away!

Our relationships need to be nurtured. Give them what they deserve by devoting a little more time and energy to the ones you already have. It’s what makes life truly worthwhile!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Competitive Advantage

Competitive Advantage

By: Joseph W. Norman

With that title you may expect me to start talking about business development or profit models. Some of you may anticipate some Michael Porter quotes or references to his competition theories. But, that’s not what you’re going to get because most people just don’t find that quite exciting. Instead, let’s talk about the competitor inside each of us. There is a little fire inside all of us which just enjoys winning. That is our personal competitive advantage.

This thought came about while I prepared mentally for the Boilermaker 15k which I competed in over the weekend. To be honest, my endurance training wasn’t exactly stellar going into this event. In fact the last time I ran 10 miles straight was probably five or six months ago, so I knew it was going to be challenging. With this in mind, what made me want to wake up far too early on a Sunday and punish myself? It is one of my favorite races with over 11,000 participants, so the competitor inside of me couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by!

Many managers I know, especially sales team leaders, absolutely love to hire athletes in their offices for this reason. They’ve mentally trained that fire inside which loves to win. If you can create a system which helps unleash the competitor inside of your people, then your team is going to knock the numbers out of the park. I guarantee it.

What does this mean for you personally? Get hungry! Remember the times in your life when you were excited about winning. It could be the glory days on the high school football field or the collegiate track meets, the dance competitions or the golf matches. Whatever it was for you, think about the feeling you had when you prepared and competed. Then, focus on that rush of emotion when you achieved the big win you or your team had!

Now, think about how you can apply that winning attitude towards your personal and professional life. I’m not saying to go challenge your eight year old nephew to a WWE style no holds barred cage match, but rather to contemplate how you can win with things like your relationships or finances. This will do wonders for your personal health! Professionally, you can focus on those sales or research goals. Not just the company’s goals for you, but your personal goals which I’m sure are much loftier! Make them your own and think of them each as a little competition with yourself.

I’ve been a competitive athlete for nearly a decade and in that time I’ve learned a few strategies which have helped me perform at my best. These have been the foundation to my personal competitive advantage. Here they are:

Visualization. Know your objective and picture every moment of that experience in your mind long before it actually happens. When the time comes to finally make that presentation, you’ve already rehearsed it for the last three weeks in your mind.

Positive self talk. When you are finally in your race, don’t let negativity creep in and steal your thunder. Keep your mind focused on affirming your desired success.

Sweat equity. You have got to work your tail off to achieve that victory. No ands, ifs, or buts.

Guts. It takes courage to put yourself out there. You have to accept the possibility of failure while also staying convicted on the belief that failure is not an option.

These four key tenants have been the basis of my athletic career and they make up the competitor inside of me. I have since adapted them to my personal and professional life. I challenge you to give them a try in your own life! Hone your personal competitive advantage and go get your victories!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.