Recently, I’ve been reading Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Integrity. It’s a topic of particular interest to me because I believe it is the quintessential element of an individual’s success. Today, I would like to share a few points from the text which I find particularly valuable.
First, let’s take a look at the three key things which attribute to a person’s success:
Mastery of a skill or set of competencies. Often people that achieve success are experts in their particular field. They have dedicated time, effort, and passion to developing this skill set and it is now reaping them great rewards.
Have a unique ability for building strategic alliances. This can be misconceived as “networking,” but in reality it is much deeper than that. Strategic alliances are characterized by a mutual relationship based on creating leverage to take what each party does to another level. In other words, one plus one equals three.
And the final and most crucial factor:
Have the character to not screw it up. People often think of character as a safe guard against bad things happening, when in fact it is actually the ultimate determining factor for the opportunity to achieve something. Who a person is will determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
So, how does one measure a person’s integrity? Dr. Cloud has an approach he calls the “wake test.” This is founded on the idea that in everybody’s “wake,” they leave a trail of data which determines their success or failure. A wake doesn’t lie and it doesn’t care about excuses.
One’s wake consists of two categories, tasks and relationships;
Tasks. These are the performance objectives. Is it a wake of goals being reached? Profits being made? Growth of the business or the deal that person was working on? The mission being accomplished? Things getting completed? New ways of doing things being introduced and perfected? A stronger brand? A stronger reputation for the work and company? Or, were the results negative? Misfires? Unreached goals? Disorganization and chaos? Resources or money lost?
Relationships. Would a person say that their lives are better off after their experience with you, or worse off? Did they consider it a blessing that they were associated with you, or a curse? Have people grown as a result of being associated with you? Did your relationship cause them to produce more? Or, have you left people wounded? Less trusting? Feeling put down, cheated, or manipulated? Disappointed, let down, or lied to? And the most important question: “Would they want to do it again?”
My challenge to you this week is to think about the wake you are making in your life. Ask yourself these questions and take a keen eye to the integrity you are bringing to your everyday life. The results may be frightening, but they will be a true testament to what you are really bringing to the table. You must appreciate where you are, in order to understand what you’re doing!
Again, the majority of this information is from the book Integrity by Henry Cloud. For more on the topic, check out the book!
"People can live 30 days without food, but no human can live more than thirty seconds without hope." - Sean Swarner
Swarner is a man who beat cancer twice; Stage 4 Hodgkin's at age 13 and Askin's Sarcoma at age 17. This was virtually a medical miracle. He has since gone on to climb the highest mountain on every continent in the world, including the fabled 29,035 ft tall Mt. Everest. This made him the first cancer survivor in history to achieve such a feat. (www.seanswarner.com)
His is a story of persistence, vitality, passion, and most importantly, hope. He has now turned his adventures into opportunities to raise awareness for cancer through his organization; Cancer Climber Association. At the peak of Mt. Everest, he left a flag of countless names of people affected by cancer. Now he is planning a trip to the North Pole and the South Pole, raising money for cancer awareness with his flags, to complete what is known by climbers as the Adventure Grand Slam.
What can we learn from a story like Sean's?
We do not know how long we have on this wonderful place called Earth. Everything can be taken from us in an instant, so we must make certain that our pursuits are powered by 100% commitment from the heart. If you do what you love, then you will make your mark on this world because it will be done in a way that makes an impression.
I got a chance to spend a day with Sean recently and I sensed this spirit in him. He's doing what he loves to do for a cause that he believes in because of how it personally changed his life. That is a beautiful gift to give to the world.
Sean confessed his foundational philosophy, "I'm committed to shouting from the roof tops that there is hope for the hopeless, and miracles up and down the sides of whatever mountains people are climbing in their life."
When faced by challenges in our lives it is hope that keeps us going. Hope for better days. Hope that our efforts bare the fruit we intend them to. Hope that miracles exist and we can achieve our dreams.
Your dreams are not only a possibility. They are an opportunity created by your mind to achieve something beyond yourself. Do not forfeit them with a lack of faith but embrace them with hope!
My challenge to you this week is to examine those dreams that toil your mind day and night. Are your daily actions moving you closer to achieving them? Or, have you lost faith in your ability to accomplish them? Give yourself permission to light the fire inside of you again! Life is too short to pursue things without your whole heart!
I met Tricia when I was a sophomore in college at SUNY Geneseo. Our friendship came on almost immediately and has blossomed since then. I always found her intelligence inspiring, insights on life poignant and her vitality infectious. We recently traveled together with a group of friends to Switzerland before settling into our new post graduation locations. Tricia currently lives on Long Island in Huntington, New York and is pursuing a career in Dentistry.
It is an honor and a pleasure to feature some of the thoughts I’ve been blessed to learn from for many years. Enjoy! ~Joseph
What is your definition of success?
PH: I don’t think of success the way most people do. For me, it’s not about how much money is in your bank account or how many people work under you.Rather than looking at the highs of someone’s life to see if they are successful, I look at the lows.If, at the lowest point in your life, you have people who still want to be near you, you have achieved success.When I fell suddenly ill my junior year of college, everything that ran my life the day before became trivial.It was a wake-up call that life isn’t a to-do list to be checked off or a list of accomplishments to put on a resume.I realized then that the most important thing in life is to have people who will be there for you regardless of your situation.I can only hope that I can be as successful in life as my grandmother, who at 92 years old with advanced dementia still has her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren calling her daily and visiting her often.I hope that the impression I leave on people today makes them think I’m worth visiting 70 years from now.
Tricia with her two sisters
If you could pass any bit of information, or some idea on to the world, what would it be?
PH: Only do something if you can really put your heart into it. If you can’t give something 100%, it’s not that important to you. Downsize your to-do list, and give everything you do your best effort.You’ll be able to appreciate what you put your energy into, rather than just running onto the next event.
Having known you for many years, I know that you have a unique ability to make people feel comfortable around you. What are some of your thoughts and philosophies on friendship?
PH: I’m lucky that I’ve always made friends easily. I guess my outgoing personality outweighs my quirks. Or I talk so much you can’t get a word in edgewise to cancel plans with me. I believe rather than quantity of friends, the most important thing is quality. My high school English teacher would talk about “FridgeFriends”: if you are truly good friends with someone, you can forage through their refrigeratorwithout feeling self conscious or intrusive.True “Fridge Friends” are hard to come by, and it’s important to keep in contact with them – by calling and sending letters from time to time.
Tricia and Joseph reenacting some Shakespeare on the castles in Bellinzona, Switzerland
What do you consider your greatest personal strength? Weakness?
PH: Being one of five kids, I never had my own room until my third year of college.As a result, I learned how to tune things out – be it noise, light, interruptions, or annoying behaviors.The sooner you learn that you can’t change people, the sooner you’ll be happy.Don’t consider working with someone who is different than you as something to “deal with” or “overcome.”I try and see something good in everyone, so I can enjoy their presence.I’d much rather find pleasure in each day of my life than simply get through it.
Without a doubt, my greatest weakness is over thinking just about everything.It’s really just a fancy form of procrastination; I worry about doing something perfectly instead of just jumping in and starting it.I try and curb my weakness into cautiousness, because after all, life is what happens while we’re busy making plans.
Tell me a little bit about your interest and aptitude in biology and what you hope to accomplish with it.
PH: From the time I was young enough to read the paper, I was disappointed the science section was only published once a week.I have to admit I read the health and science news online far more often than the current events – they are just more interesting to me!I don’t know if my success in the sciences is because they come naturally to me, or the fact that I find it enjoyable to study them.I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a huge nerd.I’d only be half kidding if I said my Organic Chemistry text was a favorite book of mine.I did research in Organic Chemistry Synthesis at Geneseo with Dr. Eric Helms.The process of synthesizing and testing compounds is exciting.However, being as social as I am, I found the lab lonely.I knew I wanted to use my biology degree as more than a wall hanging in my house, but it took a while to figure out the right fit.It goes back to my definition of success – I wanted a career in which I felt that I would really get to know people, while doing what I love.I’ve taken a deep look at several different professions, and recently decided to pursue a career in dentistry.
Tricia paragliding in Northern Switzerland
Who are three people from any time period you would like to meet?
PH: My grandfather, Thomas R. Dore. He died in the line of duty for the New York City Fire Department when my mom was four.Still, he’s shaped my life in so many ways – I grew up in the house that he built.
Leonardo da Vinci. I’d like to see how one person can pursue so many passions concurrently, and be so successful in all of them.
James Naismith. We could play a one-on-one game of basketball, or I could just thank him for inventing the sport that makes winter enjoyable.
What are some of your favorite books? Quotes?
The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux.The book is even better than the play, which is the longest running Broadway show in history.One of these days I’ll read it in French.
The Tenth Man by Graham Greene.Greene’s writing is simple yet brilliant.His message coincides with my definition of success, and can be read in one night.
“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.” – Confucius
My younger sister, Katherine, signs every email with this. Her seemingly endless energy is the result of doing what she loves to do – help others. She probably volunteers more hours than she sleeps each week.
Final thoughts?
PH: Your mom was right – go play outside, brush your teeth, and eat your veggies. And, recycling never hurt anybody.
By: Aaron Wheeler, Guest Columnist and Principal of Apex 3 Group
How much does the most expensive roller-coaster on Earth cost? If you guessed in the trillions of dollars you might be close. The name of this wild ride is the American Economy, and the entire US population has been on board as it swept from boom to mega-boom to bust to bailout and finally to mega bust. Although the ride was nothing short of gripping and, in fact, seems to be far from over, most on board seemed extremely reluctant riders as they watched billions in assets evaporate as the vacillating markets rose and plunged.
These destructive movements have had the predictable effect of chilling credit markets and drying up venture capital. The money is no longer available to expand rapidly and companies of all types are left with only their operating budgets to support all business activities. Managers across the country are making hard budget cut decisions, often under tremendous pressure, trimming employee benefits packages, slashing bonuses and laying off large numbers of workers. Every non-essential function is downsized; every essential function is streamlined.
In this difficult economic environment what should be done with the marketing budget?
The reflexive action is to treat marketing as a non-essential function and drastically downsize or even eliminate spending in this area. The underlying reason for this common mistake is that the effects of marketing efforts are dispersed enough that they defy analysis and frustrate short-term attempts to correlate marketing budget expenditures to increases in bottom line health. The health of the bottom line is the factor that hires and fires managers and most of this group have business and accounting backgrounds, with only a rudimentary understanding of general marketing principles.
Slashing the marketing budget is one of the worst disservices that an embattled CEO can do a company. Cutting or eliminating marketing efforts only serves to isolate companies from their customers. This can lead to significant drop in revenue as customers remain uninformed about company improvements and new product introductions. In addition, any negative press that surfaces during a time devoid of marketing efforts, quickly becomes the only information available to customers and prospects.
How then can the essential function of marketing be streamlined?
Many marketing campaign suffer from a grave lack of focus. This sloppy marketing can be likened to setting up a television on every one of the 3,794,066 square miles of the United States, and paying to run ads on each one. Vast amounts of capital would be wasted advertising to polar bears in Alaska and prairie dogs on the plains. A far better plan would involve concentrating the televisions in areas of high population density. Even though fewer televisions could be used the information penetration is far greater since it actually reaches a buying audience. In a difficult economy this focusing is of paramount importance since money that is paid into failing, unfocused marketing campaigns is completely wasted.
Management training is an important first step in increasing marketing effectiveness. Managers need to become intimately familiar with the efforts of their sales teams and make sure that they have all the tools that they need. Management is the interface between the sales, analytical and marketing/branding departments. This requires an effort by management to understand the entire trail of sales, a path that is generated by marketing in the mind of the potential customer and ends with a signature on a sales order.
It is often a good idea to call in marketing consultants during times of economic distress, since outside help is often able to identify issues within company processes that might be overlooked or ignored by an internal audit. Of particular importance are efforts to eliminate conflict and encouraging cooperation between departments, especially marketing and sales departments. In addition, competent consultants can help to train management in assessing marketing plans.
Conclusion: Increase Efficiency
Economic downturns should not be seen as a reason to abandon marketing efforts, but merely as opportunities to increase efficiency and employee accountability. Any "marketing" work that does not result in increased customer awareness of the companies products and services must be immediately cut and supplanted with more focused efforts.
Today is as important a time as ever to take control of your finances. Managing your finances well today gives you options tomorrow.
“The average American is busy buying things he doesn’t want with money he doesn’t have to impress people he doesn’t like.” O. Donald Olson
According to John Maxwell, there are three simple truths when it comes to your money:
1) Money won’t make you happy, 2) Debt will make you unhappy, and, 3) Having a financial margin gives you options. There are plenty of strategies out there to maintain and excel when it comes to your money. The key is that it does not have to be complex. It can be as simple as dedicating 80% of your income to expenses, 10% to investments, and the other 10% as you desire. Some use the other 10% as a charitable giving.
How can you start managing your finances well today? Use a program like Mint.com (www.mint.com) to get an idea of where your money is going. Your transactional data is downloaded on a daily basis into the program and it gives you trends, simple budget tools, savings opportunities, and more! I use it personally and after my introduction, my financial advisor uses it now as well!
Once you know where the money goes, you can isolate what David Bach calls “your latte factor.” That is the one item you might buy everyday which is costing you hundreds of thousands in the long run. It could just be a $4 coffee at Starbucks everyday. But, multiply that $4 by 5 work days and 52 weeks. Then take that number and give it a 10% return over the duration left until your retirement. Do the math. The number will be astounding!
Another crucial item is to firm up your credit score! Are you incurring too much consumer debt on frivolous things? Change your automatic payments to a debit from your checking account and lock those cards up! Then, put yourself on an automatic payment plan to absolve your debt.
KEY HINT: Don’t focus on the debt because that won’t help. Just stop the bleeding and set up an automatic plan to resolve it!
Dealing with your money is stressful but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Make a commitment to yourself today. Remember, properly managing your finances daily gives you options.
Traditional goal setting does not work as effectively as most 'experts' would have you believe.
This is because there is one factor, one key, a missing link, which, without it, you'd simply have no motivation to go about doing the things you are supposed to do to bring about the achievement of your goal.
And that is The Big Picture. Now, this is in my own words, what I've learned from an audio interview I listened to a few days ago.
What do I mean by The Big Picture?
The Big Picture is like a Vision. It's an Obsession. A Passion. A Dream. A big, grand, bold dream that you have for your life.
In other words, it is a Purpose. A Life Purpose.
I know these may all sound like big words to you, but the point here is for you to have an ultimate purpose for all your goals in life. What most people have are goals for material objects or for career advancements or monetary gains.
Most people, and I didn't say ALL, merely stop at these 'bite-sized pieces', these small goals when it comes to goal setting. They don't continue on to think about why they set these goals and for what even bigger purpose do they set these goals. Ask yourselves - why do I want this new Mercedes? Why do I want this big mansion? Why do I want to earn an extra $100,000 a year? Why do I want to have so and so person as my spouse? Why?
Keep asking why. And again, most people would realise that it comes down to a feeling or sense of fulfilment, happiness, of being loved, of being secure and safe, or of being free. Some people would just say, "I just want these things".
Well, all that may sound good and fine but do you truly think that once you get that Mercedes or that big mansion or the extra $100,000 a year or that person as your spouse, you'd be truly happy, fulfilled, free, secure and alive?
Try and look back at one past goal which you have achieved. Take a look at one milestone which you've already gone through. Do you find yourself something saying something like, "And now what"?
Most of us do. That's because we don't have that biggest, ultimate, most grand purpose for our lives. The reason why we are born. Some people call it destiny, or phrase it as "God's place for you in the world". Whatever it is, don't think of it as something beyond your power.
This thing called Purpose or The Big Picture is a thing that is both within your power to choose and also outside your power to choose. It is the sum total of all your life choices from the day you were born up to this very day.
The proof that it is within your power to choose is the fact that you've been making all the choices and decisions in your life all this while, asking for this and that, regardless of whether or not you got what you asked for, to build up an image, a vision or The Big Picture of your life, which is your ultimate life purpose - that reason you were born and the thing that you must fulfill in your life before you die.
Whereas the proof that it is also beyond your power to choose is the fact that you already have made all those choices before in your past and there is little or nothing you can do to alter those choices you've made in the past. There are some decisions we made which we can undo, but not without a significant amount of trouble, and there are many decisions we simply cannot undo.
This is the irony of human life and why it is beautiful to be human.
But if you are sitting right there where you are, reading this post, you still have hope. You do still have a chance. Create for yourself a grand vision of your life - why you are here on this Earth. Conceive big, bold dreams.
Imagine you are a historian or a scholar studying the history of your life. What would you like to be remembered for? What would you like to be famous for? What would you like to be associated with whenever your name is mentioned?
Write an essay about yourself, as if you were a historian in the future, looking back into your life. Include all the glorious things you have achieved, and even the flaws, the mistakes and huge failures you've made. But also include how you've transcended these flaws, mistakes and failures. Write about the difference you've made to the world, no matter how small (or big) it is.
Have you left behind a wonderful family? Have you left behind a legacy? Have you left behind a successful business? Or simply a happy memory in the mind of a person you've helped in a small or big way?
Now, after you've done this exercise, you may proceed with your traditional goal setting methods. Create sub-goals out of this Big Goal of your life. Create the secondary goals to this Primary Goal. Set the milestone goals that would define your ultimate life purpose.
What this does to you is create a certain insurance or feeling of security, because, although you may fail to achieve your small goals (no matter how bold they seem to be), you're still on track because you have not lost sight of your ultimate life goal. About The Author:
Mohamad Latiff is giving away his amazing FREE $997 value goal setting and accelerated wealth attraction technology on how you can achieve all your goals and your inherent unlimited potential for wealth, success & happiness in your life! Only at http://www.UltimateSecretsOfSuccess.com
Recently, I was reading a fantastic blog on personal development by Million Dollar Lifestyle business coach, Melanie Benson Strick. In one of her recent posts she discussed the “breakdown - breakthrough to success process.” She goes on to note that typically, humans are more motivated by moving away from pain then they are by pursuing pleasure.
This week I challenge you to reflect on the hard times you may be going through and strategize your way to success. There is no doubt that it is a difficult time in the global economy right now. In fact, we hear the myriad of reasons on the news, day in and day out. What matters is not what is happening, but how you react.
What is it that makes you break down? It’s a variety of external stresses caused by things like work, neighbors, significant others, personal finance, health, etc.
What is it that motivates you during difficult times? A personal challenge to yourself to survive. It is fight or flight syndrome at its finest. My belief is that it stems from an innate desire to get more out of life. We know we deserve better than the hand we are currently being dealt.
What propels the select few to success? A hyper-consciousness for the last thought. Some people are born to push the limits. They are hard-wired to take any of life’s inequities and use it as inspiration for greater achievement. When times are rough, these people see opportunities that others have not opened their eyes to.
What is critical about these three questions is that they are not unique at all. We all experience them at some degree in our lives. The only inimitable experience is how we choose to react.
Some people drop into depression while others propel themselves to greatness. What is crucial to note is that each individual had the same opportunity. Tony Robbins asks a question which is particularly pertinent to this situation; “Is it the beginning or is it the end?”
My challenge to you this week is to make the personal choice that the difficult times will be the beginning of something better in your life, not the end. Success IS a choice.
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