Clarity

By: Joseph Norman

Do you have a place where you think? And, I mean really think. A place where you can ask yourself the tough questions like, “What are you doing with your life? Why are you doing it? Who are you serving?”

We all need to answer these questions consistently in our lives to give us clarity in our direction. Your spot could be a particular chair in your office, a vacation home you or your family has, or even a bench at your favorite park. If you don’t have one, find one! For me, it is the chaise lounge in my bedroom and I’m usually accompanied by candle light. Mood lighting may help you as well!

Why is this important?

The truth is not enough people really think about what they’re doing. We are all guilty off it more often then not. We run a path with reckless abandon because we think that’s what we want. When, in fact, over time we change and desire new things and fresh direction for our life.

Think about this natural phenomenon. A hiker is walking through the woods without a compass. He gets lost and cannot find his way. Everything looks the same so he just keeps walking, waiting for something to strike his memory and provide him with clarity for how he can get home. But, a funny thing happens as this man keeps walking. The earth’s rotation, as slight as it is, causes the man to travel in circles without him even knowing it!

Without stopping to think or use some tools, this hiker could be walking in circles for days. In our own lives we may do this for months or even years without stopping to really think! But, we keep walking…feeling lost and unfulfilled.

Once you have found your place to really think, you now need some ammunition to take advantage the greatest tool we as humans have, our minds! Here are some questions you may find helpful to prevent you from walking in circles your whole life. I’ve picked them up from mentors, business associates and from my personal studies of NLP (Neuro-Linguistics Programming).

If money were no option, what would I be doing? Who would I be helping? How would I be helping them?

What is it I really want in my life? (Some categories: Health, Money, Business, Relationships, Material Things, Living Environment). How will you know when you’ve got it? What will you see? Hear? Feel? Believe? Experience?

What would you want if you knew you couldn’t fail? What would you want if you knew it was ok to fail?

What would you want if it didn’t have to mean anything about you? (Reputation, etc.) What would you want if you knew nothing bad would happen as a result of getting it?

Are you in line with your goals and desires? How can you get back on track?

My challenge to you this week is to give yourself an opportunity to answer some of these questions. Don’t burden yourself with a time limit; just let your mind run free with a pen and pad of paper in hand. Keep yourself from filtering your answers as well! Don’t let your subconscious foil your own unique ability to dream up the life you’ve always wanted.

Know that it is okay to want what you want. It is an authentic expression of who you are so embrace and celebrate it! Get clarity on the person you want to become and don't let complacency get in your way!

Mary Grace Dixon

What is your definition of success?

MGD: My definition of success is one’s ability to reflect on what they have accomplished and feeling that they made an impact (good or bad). However, I also feel that success is never final because there is always room for improvement. This is why I would call something I have accomplished a “marking point” rather than a success, telling me I can move on to my next challenge.

If you could pass any bit of information or one piece of advice onto the world, what would it be?

MGD: There is so much advice I want to give, I’m going to be a teacher remember?

-Never doubt what you are capable of accomplishing. You may not know until you are presented with a challenge, but reflect knowing you did the best you could.

-Think before you speak, one that I have learned the hard way many times.

-Always have a clean pair of dress pants in your closet.

-Never make assumptions based on what others tell you. Learn for yourself.

-Read books. When you have finished one, start another.

-Learn to cook one or two dishes very well.

-Smile as much as you can.

-Laughter really is the best medicine.

-Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be a goofball sometimes.

-Listen to your mother. She is almost always right.

What do you consider your greatest personal strength? Weakness?

MGD: One of my greatest strengths would have to be my compassion. I love making people feel good about themselves and helping them through difficult times. It is a trait I have been fortunate enough to inherit from my mother. It also works as one of my weaknesses, I am often too involved and feel that I have failed when I do not solve someone else’s problems. I need to learn to let go at times.

Having known you for many years now and knowing that you are about to begin your career in elementary and special education, tell me a little bit about your background in and your passion for helping people with disabilities.

MGD: I graduated high school well aware of my abilities when it came to working with children. Not sure if I wanted to pursue that pathway at the time, I began my fall 2004 semester at Broome Community College with a goal of being an educator, but not sure of what kind. I contemplated high school Spanish, History and English, all of which I was never really passionate about, just good at. As I was taking classes, I had a mess of odd jobs that were nothing more than a paycheck to me. It was when my older brother Chris moved back to Binghamton to begin a position at Community Options, Inc., and was looking for help that I began to get some clarity.

This company’s mission is to develop long and short term goals for adults with disabilities that ultimately make them independent members of society. They needed more staff to be trained to work with the individuals in accomplishing their goals, so I thought I’d try it. It was then I realized my passion, I loved every minute I spent with these adults. I left everyday knowing I made a difference in someone’s life. Was it difficult? Sometimes difficult was not strong enough of a word, but I never felt defeated. That’s how I knew that this was something I needed to pursue for the rest of my life. After that, I transferred to SUNY Geneseo and enrolled in their rigorous program, still loving every new experience and constantly seeking more information. I substitute at Community Options when I am home, and also work at Broome/Tioga BOCES. I learn something new every time I work with a child or an adult with a disability, which to me is what being an educator is all about: lifelong learning.

What are some of your short term and mid term goals?

MGD: A short term goal of mine would be to complete student teaching, which is roughly two weeks from now, and graduate in May. I also plan to start applying for teaching positions and to graduate schools in January; the earlier the better. By next fall, I hope to be teaching or in graduate school, but hopefully both. Long term goals for me are slightly more arbitrary, I never like to plan too far ahead because I feel it may distract from new opportunities I didn’t plan on. Ultimately I want to be teaching, married, and have children of course but putting a time frame on it would personally make me feel pressured to meet that goal and possibly settle if I were to be at that “goal point” in my life, and settling to me is unacceptable.

Who are three people from any time period that you would like to meet?

MGD: The first would be Carol Burnett, a woman who truly finds humor in all walks of life. Another would be Temple Grandin, a woman who is a major advocate for awareness and acceptance of individuals with Autism. Lastly, I would want to meet John Lennon, a revolutionary through his music.

What are some of your favorite books? Quotes?

MGD: Books: “Thinking in Pictures” and “Animals in Translation” by Temple Grandin. She reveals her life as a woman with Autism and how she and the rest of the Autistic community see the world. I will also forever love the Harry Potter series. Living vicariously through Harry’s life for a few chapters at a time pretty much got me through high school. Lastly, “Educating Esme” by Esme Raji Codell is a personal favorite. In her book, Codell writes about her first year as a teacher in an impoverished area and I feel it should be required reading among elementary education majors.

Quotes: “Go confidently in pursuit of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”-Henry David Thoreau

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”-Ferris Bueller

“Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted”-John Lennon

Final thoughts?

MGD: Do what you love and settle for nothing less.

Mary Grace Dixon

SUNY Geneseo '09

Elementary / Special Education

The Four Agreements

By: Joseph Norman

This week's challenge is courtesy of Don Miguel Ruiz's simple, but profound book, "The Four Agreements." Taken from ancient Toltec traditions, the code of conduct discussed "reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering."

In our daily lives it is easy to get caught in the hustle and bustle, over promise and under deliver, ride the emotional roller coaster of human interaction, and limit ourselves from being the best person we can be. Miguel Ruiz’s insights provide a fantastic frame for our daily activities which can help keep us true to ourselves and others. By acknowledging and living our deep authenticity, we allow ourselves to have better relationships and more fulfilling lives.

Without further adieu, Don Miguel Ruiz’s “Four Agreements” as described in his book!

Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Take these words to heart throughout your week. You may want to start with the one agreement that resonates with you the most. Focus on it each day and examine the results. Are you feeling more fulfilled? Are your interactions more honest and effective? Are you creating a mindset and environment which helps you be your best? If you can answer, "Yes," to any of these questions, then you are developing a lifestyle which facilitates personal freedom!

Timothy Hoskins

I have known Tim for many years, growing up across the river from him in Kirkwood, New York and attending the same church in his home town of Conklin. He has always been a hard working man with a unique ability to go with the flow. To this day, his perpetually calm demeanor impresses me.

Having recently earned his Masters in Architecture from Clemson University, Tim is currently working in architectural design for Cobb Architects in Charleston, South Carolina. It is truly a pleasure to share some of his insights! ~Joseph

What is your definition of success?

TH: I like to think of success as pursuing a passion in which you can make a living. It’s all about doing what you love and in doing so being able to generate a profit from that. Work is never really work when it’s something you love to do.

If you could pass any bit of information, or some idea on to the world, what would it be?

TH: There are a few things. First, is the age old piece of advice to work hard for what you’re passionate about. I truly believe that if you put in the time and effort your end result will be greater than you originally imagined. Second is to be honest, to the point and concise. There is enough BS in the world already, so just say what you honestly think and make your point.

What do you consider your greatest personal strength? Weakness?

TH: I think my greatest personal strength is my will to be a perfectionist at what I do. It has given me the drive to work hard to achieve a satisfying result that I can be proud of. At the end of the day you have to be proud of your work.

My greatest personal weakness is that I obsess or sometimes focus in on certain details or ideas to the point that I lose sight of the big picture. I need to remind myself to take a step back and revisit the over arching concept so that it doesn’t become obscured and ultimately lost.

Having known you for many years now, I know that you just finished your Masters in Architecture at Clemson University. Tell me a little bit about your passion for architecture?

TH: My passion for architecture came at an early age. I enjoyed building things as a kid from Legos to tree forts. I also enjoyed going to friend’s houses to scope out the interior layout. I just became fascinated with the science of manipulating 3-D space and the art of construction. To me architects must not just be the designers, but the builders; the electrician, the plumber, the surveyor, the historian, scientist, and mathematician. In essence they must know a little about a lot in order to build thoughtful, responsible, provocative architecture. It is only with this knowledge that an architect can design interesting and comfortable spaces that will last for more than 50 years, much like the architecture of the early 19th century. I too have a fascination for knowledge in all these supplemental building areas. So, this theory of the role of an architect only fuels my passion for the practice I have chosen to pursue.

What are some of your short term and mid term goals?

TH: Short terms goals include gaining experience in the practice of architecture to become eligible to sit for my licensing exam and ultimately become a licensed architect. A long term goal of mine is to combine my architecture degree and love for hands on building to open up my own design-build firm. This would allow me to be a part of both the big picture design part of architecture and the hands on fabrication of the details that not only make the building stand, but add to its aesthetic appeal.

Who are three people from any time period that you would like to meet?

TH: The first person I would like to meet would be Alvar Aalto because he was not just an architect but an interior designer. In specific, he was a furniture designer. His love for nature and building things by hand is reflected in his work. I greatly respect what he has done and would love to know how he came up with his designs and how he drew his inspiration from nature.

Another person is Mies van Der Rohe who is one of the most famous and influential modernists whose simple and elegant designs have a trademark appearance that are timeless. He too dabbled in designing furniture and carried over that simple elegant and timeless modernist aesthetic. The last is Bryon McKay Lyons whose inspiration comes from the local vernacular and incorporates this into his unique forms that carefully engage the site and surrounding landscape.

What are some of your favorite books? Quotes?

TH: Some of my favorite books are Swimming to Antartica by Lynn Cox, It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong & Sally Jenkins, and The Amateurs by David Halberstam. They each speak of hard work and determination to achieve one’s goals which is a belief I strongly support. On the architecture side of things my favorite books are Brunelleschi’s Dome by Ross King and The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson because they speak of incredible feats in architecture and the amazing effect they still have even to this day.

Some of my favorite quotes are:
“Well done is better than well said.” –Benjamin Franklin
“Desire is the fuel of life.” –Unknown
“Thinking gets you the idea, hard work gets you results” -Unkown

Timothy Hoskins
E: TWHoskins@gmail.com

Living Consciously

By: Joseph Norman

Stop running through your life in the dark with reckless abandon! Do you have focus? Are you being mindful of the time and energy you are expending during the day? If you haven’t asked yourself that question, then you’re probably not!

The truth is we only have so much focused energy that we can use each day. That being said, many of us spend it in frivolous activities or we use it in a way that is unproductive relative to our goals or ambitions. How many times have you gotten up from your computer and said, “Wow, where did that last hour go?” It could be YouTube, CNN.com, or Facebook that you just wasted your time on. Either way, it was not used wisely and you’re no closer to accomplishing your objectives then you were before!

My challenge to you this week is to be mindful of where you are allocating your time. Dr. Nathaniel Branden, psychotherapist and pioneer of self-esteem psychology often has clients do a series of sentence completion exercises to help them live more consciously.

For example, he might give you this stem:

“If I bring 5% more consciousness to my daily activities, I will...”

And, another stem might be:

“If I am 5% more mindful of where I allocate my time and energy, I will...”

Give those two a try a few mornings this week. Complete the sentence five times each morning without regard to repeats from the day before. At the end of the week review the results! Did you make progress towards living more consciously?

The purpose of this exercise is to help you understand that it’s okay to do less if it means you do it impeccably! Don’t let yourself get a reputation of taking on too much and having things slip through the cracks. Instead be known as the person that gets thing done in a fantastic way!

Integrity

By: Joseph Norman

Recently, I’ve been reading Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Integrity. It’s a topic of particular interest to me because I believe it is the quintessential element of an individual’s success. Today, I would like to share a few points from the text which I find particularly valuable.

First, let’s take a look at the three key things which attribute to a person’s success:

Mastery of a skill or set of competencies. Often people that achieve success are experts in their particular field. They have dedicated time, effort, and passion to developing this skill set and it is now reaping them great rewards.

Have a unique ability for building strategic alliances. This can be misconceived as “networking,” but in reality it is much deeper than that. Strategic alliances are characterized by a mutual relationship based on creating leverage to take what each party does to another level. In other words, one plus one equals three.

And the final and most crucial factor:

Have the character to not screw it up. People often think of character as a safe guard against bad things happening, when in fact it is actually the ultimate determining factor for the opportunity to achieve something. Who a person is will determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.

So, how does one measure a person’s integrity? Dr. Cloud has an approach he calls the “wake test.” This is founded on the idea that in everybody’s “wake,” they leave a trail of data which determines their success or failure. A wake doesn’t lie and it doesn’t care about excuses.

One’s wake consists of two categories, tasks and relationships;

Tasks. These are the performance objectives. Is it a wake of goals being reached? Profits being made? Growth of the business or the deal that person was working on? The mission being accomplished? Things getting completed? New ways of doing things being introduced and perfected? A stronger brand? A stronger reputation for the work and company? Or, were the results negative? Misfires? Unreached goals? Disorganization and chaos? Resources or money lost?

Relationships. Would a person say that their lives are better off after their experience with you, or worse off? Did they consider it a blessing that they were associated with you, or a curse? Have people grown as a result of being associated with you? Did your relationship cause them to produce more? Or, have you left people wounded? Less trusting? Feeling put down, cheated, or manipulated? Disappointed, let down, or lied to? And the most important question: “Would they want to do it again?”

My challenge to you this week is to think about the wake you are making in your life. Ask yourself these questions and take a keen eye to the integrity you are bringing to your everyday life. The results may be frightening, but they will be a true testament to what you are really bringing to the table. You must appreciate where you are, in order to understand what you’re doing!

Again, the majority of this information is from the book Integrity by Henry Cloud. For more on the topic, check out the book!