John Engels

John Engels is founder and president of Leadership Coaching, Inc., a leadership consulting firm in Upstate New York, focused on the mentoring and growth of CEOs, presidents, their executive teams and their families. His Advanced Leadership Course for CEOs has been recognized nationally for its depth and practical emphasis on high-level functioning at work and home. He has traveled widely, participating in developing world projects in Bangladesh, Haiti, and Peru. An insatiable curiosity for knowledge and a constant search for depth in life and self are a few key values John brings to his consulting practice.

Tell us a little bit about how you got started and what put you on the path of wanting to give back in this way.

I think started is a funny word. Lots of dramatic events happened in my childhood which had an impact on me. I grew up Roman Catholic. So, there was a lot of emphasis in my upbringing on service; concern for the poor and for people that don’t have enough. My parents came from poverty. They had to learn how to survive and they appreciated the small pleasures in life. I got a feel for that early on.

Though they were poor, each of my parents had a lot of motivation to succeed and get ahead. They had tasted poverty and they didn’t want to taste it again. I think it was very influential for me. I am the oldest of five, so from that sibling position an expectation was programmed into me that I would be successful. That I would be achievement oriented. It was just in there.

I’ve always had an insatiable desire to learn. To look for insight in off-the-beaten-path places, where others aren’t going. I can remember my mother telling us, “Don’t be a conformist!”

I’ve looked in very strange places for knowledge and that habit has been very useful for me; bringing a perspective to my clients that is not only different, but in many ways subversive. So, that’s a big competitive advantage. I’m like a sponge. Yes, I have the academic degrees, but that has not stimulated the greatest learning for me. Book knowledge simply readied me for the real learning, which has come in prison visits, wilderness adventures, hospital morgues, villages in developing worlds, and to a large degree, in conversations with my clients.

What does your business and its delivery system look like?

People choose to buy an apple based on the skin. Is it shiny? Dull? Red? Yellow? Does it have dimples on it? The skin of the apple is not the meat of the apple. The skin of the apple is not the apple, it is just the cover. Most leaders live in a world where only the superficial elements of leadership are looked at - personality, physical appearance, resume, compensation, etc. My team and I help veteran and high-potential leaders look at the meat of the apple - their emotional maturity, their confidence and skill as coaches to others, the clarity of their thinking and decision-making, and so on. We help leaders know, trust and communicate their substance. That enables them to influence others - both at work and at home - in more meaningful ways.

Our business model centers on a course that I founded thirteen years ago, the Advanced Leadership Course. It takes CEOs and other senior level leaders through an eight month process - one full day a month for eight months - teaching the science of leadership and developing them as high functioning mentors. The course is often the beginning of a relationship with Leadership Coaching, Inc. that extends far beyond the eight months. Half of the graduates end up in some sort of long term relationship with me. I offer an annual retreat that about 100 graduates of the Advanced Leadership Course come to every year. And, I feed them...I give them more.

My belief is that what ultimately impresses people is the depth, not the skin. That is something to know about life. Don’t just look at the outside and what seems to be. There is more than that going on. I deal all day with people that have made a living out of trying to look good, and to stay comfortable. And, unfortunately for many, that’s where their focus ends. We try to lead leaders in a different direction. For example, we make an effort to help leaders manage and overrule discomfort instead of trying to avoid it. Sometimes, progress is not possible without discomfort, so managing it becomes critical. Leaders who learn how to do this can take the world by storm.

What advice would you give to the people of Western New York?

That’s a really easy question to answer because I don’t give advice. I never give advice. Don’t know what’s best for others. It’s challenging enough to figure out what’s best for me. And, that is an important point right there.

The last time I was asked that question it was by Mayor Robert Duffy, just before he took office. He invited me to breakfast and asked me for advice. I told him the same thing, “I don’t give advice,” and I could see he was somewhat stunned by my answer. We went on to have a very animated conversation.

Everybody seems to have lots of advice for everybody else which is a sign of a toxic and regressive culture. Do I really know what you should be doing? Do I know what that guy over there should be doing? Should I tell him what to do because something that worked for me should work for him? I have no idea. That is the most honest answer I can give.

If someone asks me what I have found helpful, I will tell them. Not in an advice-giving way, just sharing my own experience.

When I say, “I don’t know what you should do”, it leaves you with the responsibility to figure it out. And, it turns out that you figuring it out provides more value to you then all of the advice you might be getting elsewhere. So, I’m actually giving you a gift by saying I don’t know. I’m driving value to you because the alternative would keep you in a helpless, dependent position.

Anybody who falls into the trap of telling others what to do is not thinking clearly. How can somebody, no matter how smart they are, know what’s best for me if they’re not me? They don’t even know me. This is true in families. It’s true with spouses. It’s true with kids. Do your parents know what’s best for you? They can’t possibly know. Most often, parents don’t even know what’s best for them! That’s just the way it is.

This is the kind of experience that I try to give my clients; discombobulating their assumptions. Challenging these things they take as automatically true. I question them. I ask them, “Who told you that?”

For example, when a client says to me, “I’d never ask my people to do something I’m not willing to do myself.” They tell me that and they really believe their practicing good leadership.

I say, “That doesn’t make any sense to me. Why would you be doing what your people are doing? You’re not them. You’re not where they are. You’re leading. Why would you, as a Principal of a high school, think that you need to set up chairs in the auditorium? So your people think you’re one of them? Why do you need that coziness? Why do you need their approval? What should a top-notch Principal be doing? Do we need the Principal to set up chairs or to think about where the school is going?

This is an example of really helping people think at a deeper level. Not just trite, throw away phrases. I’ve studied people and leadership for a long, long time, so I have at least a modest idea what this leadership thing is all about. Most people are very superficial in their understanding and I’m talking about people who head businesses, families and even nations.

My business is thriving because we offer people a level of value that matches what they need. And, often times, what they don’t know they need. It is high value, high risk, and high reward type of work. It requires understanding someone’s life and work, so we can help them with the most important challenges. Meeting with people at this level brings a high level of meaningfulness and satisfaction to me, and to those who do this work with me.

I know you work a lot at the family level with people as well. Can you tell me a little bit about that?

It’s not so much work-life balance. It’s you understanding as a leader what the influence of your multi-generational history is on how you function everyday. Each of us grew up in a family system that produced patterns in us; emotional patterns, ways of acting, and ways of being that profoundly impact how we function. Those patterns are unconsciously governing our behavior everyday. We help leaders name and understand those patterns so they can make clearer choices about how they want to lead.

So, the first part of my work is to help my clients get thinking about what the connection is between how they were raised and how they lead as well as how they show up to their own kids and their wife or husband. Again, I think this is a deeper look at self.

My clients are quite wowed by this. I’m talking about people that have been all over the world and have done all kinds of things but they’ve never examined how their family history has influenced their functioning. We do a four generational family tree. We actually develop that with all of my clients, in an effort to help them go deeper and broader with their thinking. They’ve expressed profound appreciation for this aspect of what we do, and I think it’s because they’ve never thought about it.

We do individual coaching, work with teams, and give presentations all over the world on leadership, but the Advanced Leadership Course is our core. I give those 25 people each year everything I’ve got because every one of them is hungry to grow and influential to many others.

Where did the search for depth come from?

It came from my own experiences as a youngster. I experienced a lot of chaos in my life growing up. I grew up during Vietnam and the assassinations. There was a lot of heaviness during my childhood, in our home and in the world. The war was on TV every night, so I got sensitized to it all. It wasn’t something that I could ignore. I was thinking about it a lot. Then, my twin brother was killed in a car accident when I was 21 and a senior in college. That just rocked me.

From an early age, I was on a mission to find myself. So, what I’m asking my clients to do I am familiar with. I had to figure out how to grow up, deal with pain, with loss, and with the fact that I only have one life to live. What do I want to do with it?

I have been fortunate to marry a woman who is a person of great depth. We have shared questions and conversations with our three children from way back. We have tried to make conscious decisions about exposing our kids to the often-overlooked realities of life. As a quick example, we’ve made three trips to Bangladesh and two trips to a Harlem soup kitchen with our kids, but we’ve never been to Disney World. We don’t have anything against Disney World because for some people it’s great, but it’s just not our thing. My two sons would rather be wilderness camping than hanging out in a resort.

Bangladesh is a pretty out of the way place. I was introduced to it many years ago when a cyclone hit and I was wondering how I could help. Then I met a girl in an orphanage there who is now our daughter. One thing leads to another.

My purpose in life is to live at that deeper level. That’s what I want to do, and that’s what I invite others into. Some of the world’s best thinkers, individuals like Dr. Murray Bowen and Dr. Ed Friedman, have been my teachers; I know I did not arrive at this place without help. So, I have committed the rest of my life to teach others the ideas, principles and strategies that relate to being a more emotionally mature and responsible self. That’s what I’ve studied and that’s what I’ve tried to live.

It’s not really about business, it’s about life.

What’s next for you?

Lately I’ve been thinking about putting many of these ideas and principals into print. So, I think that’s next for me.

In addition, I’ve been doing this advanced level leadership work with CEOs for 25 years and a large percentage of my clients have reported to me that they wish they would have been exposed to this material earlier in their careers. These people are generally 35 to 60. One of my dreams is to deliver these ideas to 22 -30 year old high potential leaders.

These are life changing ideas. It would be great to find a way to give these skills to people earlier in life.

Final thoughts?

One thing that I’ve tried to do in my career that has really helped my business tremendously - and, it’s a great way to live - is win-win relationships. I never want to take from somebody unless I can give and I don’t want to give unless I can take. I’m always looking for the mutual aspect of an exchange.

I have three children; Nick, 23, Joe, 19, and Maria, 18. It’s important to me that our children see a lack of pretense when they look at my wife and myself.

My business is not slick or fancy. It reflects my own blue-collar background and values. This lack of pretense is what our clients are looking for. At the end of the day, our clients respond to the genuineness they see in us. They know we will ask them the important questions and challenge them without worrying about their approval.

John Engels
Founder & President
Leadership Coaching, Inc.
E: John@LeadershipCoachingInc.com

Your Mood

By: Joseph Norman

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine at the gym I work out at in Rochester and he mentioned a family trip he just went on to Florida. I responded with a similar story about my business trip there a week or so ago. Inevitably, we talked about the sun and the weather.

If you live in Western New York you know that right now it is a little gloomy out there. Although it's getting warmer, many of the days are grey and dull. Warm days it might rain while the occasional cold spell still bites us with chilly winds and a March or April flurry.

Now, my friend is a successful businessman with an attitude and positive energy that is simply unstoppable. But, we reflected on the fact that sometimes it's tough to keep a great mood up in the final days of winter with the grey skies looming. And, this got me thinking...

There is definitely a difference between your attitude and your mood. You can meet a predominantly positive person that could still be moody just as some people with poor attitudes sometimes have great days.

So, what's the difference between your attitude and your mood?

Your attitude is like your foundation. It's what makes you who you are and what carries you through the day, no matter the circumstances. Meanwhile, your mood is your reaction to the moment. It seems like a minor thing but it's actually a big difference.

Everyday we hear the Dr. Phil's of the world talk about attitude, but how often do we consider our own control over our mood?

The truth is we can change our moods instantly. Are you in a bad mood? All you have to do to change it is make a decision to be happy and make your bad mood a good one. Because your mood is more or less a surface reaction to what's happening in the "right now" of your life, you can change your mood quickly. That's a powerful thing to think about.

When was the last time you said or heard the phrase, "Oh, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" You've probably heard it at least once in the last week. Have you ever thought about what that phrase even means? It's completely ridiculous.

What is the wrong side of the bed anyway? Left side or right side? Does it really matter? Nope.

No matter which "side of the bed" you woke up on, you decide your mood. Here are a few strategies to immediately change your state if you find the "wrong side of the bed" syndrome creeping into your day.

Make peace with whatever is bothering you. Accept it and move on. Or, take a few moments to devise a plan to tackle the problem, than put that plan into action.

Compartmentalize when you can. The truth is you can't always control what is happening around you. This holds particularly true if you are listening to someone else venting about their issues or if you're down because of the weather. If you want to, be there for them and empathize with them, but don't let it ruin your mood after the conversation is over. In addition, you'll never be able to manage Mother Nature. Simply box it up and pack it away because you can only solve problems you have control over.

Think about a song you really like. Music has a tremendous power over us. A good piece of music can lift us right up. Use that to your advantage!

Smile. It's amazing what forcing yourself to smile can do. Your body associates good feelings with smiling, so use a little trickery to boost your mood. When I was running competitively in high school and college, I would pick spots on the course before a race where I would plan to smile. No matter how much pain I was in when I reached those points I would always get a little boost from making myself smile. I still use this strategy in competition.

Use props. Carry something small with you at all times which you associate with good feelings. It could be a piece of jewelry with spiritual significance to you or even a pebble from a beach you went to on vacation. Whatever it is, use it! When you're feeling down, just grab your "prop" for a moment and remind yourself that ultimately life is good and you are in control.

If every one of us took a little time to think about how to effectively change our inevitable bad moods into good ones, our homes, workplaces, and communities would be a much more positive place. Give yourself the gift of a good mood today!

Napoleon Hill

Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) was an accomplished business consultant, author and lecturer. For over twenty five years he studied some of the world’s greatest business leaders to discover what made them so successful. These were people like Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Theodore Roosevelt and many more! His discoveries were published in his landmark bestseller, Think and Grow Rich. The following are excerpts from Think and Grow Rich. They are timeless messages which apply more than ever to the unique challenges we’re facing in Western New York and the world right now.

On Leadership:

In times of distress, there is invariably a call for new leadership. We recently saw it on the national scene with the election of a new President of the United States. In turn, we will continue to see it in our neighborhoods and workplaces as we continue to face the challenges currently presented by our domestic and world economies. Here are Napoleon Hill’s Major Attributes of Leadership:

UNWAVERING COURAGE based upon knowledge of self and of one’s occupation. No follower wishes to be dominated by a leader who lacks self-confidence and courage. No intelligent follower will be dominated by such a leader for very long.

SELF-CONTROL. People who cannot control themselves can never control others. Self-control sets a mighty example for one’s followers, which the more intelligent will emulate.

A KEEN SENSE OF JUSTICE. Without a sense of fairness and justice, no leader can command and retain the respect of his or her followers.

DEFINITENESS IN DECISION. People who waver in decisions show that they are not sure of themselves. They cannot lead others successfully.

DEFINITENESS OF PLANS. The successful leader must plan the work, and work the plan. A leader who moves by guesswork without practical, definite plans is comparable to a ship without a rudder. Sooner or later it will land on the rocks.

THE HABIT OF DOING MORE THAN PAID FOR. One of the penalties of leadership is the necessity of willingness, upon the part of the leaders, to do more than they require of their followers.

A PLEASING PERSONALITY. No slovenly, careless person can become a successful leader. Leadership calls for respect. Followers will not respect leaders who do not score highly on all factors of a pleasing personality.

SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING. Successful leaders must be in sympathy with their followers. Moreover, they must understand them and their problems.

MASTERY OF DETAIL. Successful leadership calls for mastery of details of the leader’s position.

WILLINGNESS TO ASSUME FULL RESPONSIBILITY. Successful leaders must be willing to assume responsibility for the mistakes and shortcomings of their followers. If they try to shift this responsibility, they will not remain leaders. If followers make mistakes and become incompetent, it is the leader who has failed.

COOPERATION. Successful leaders must understand and apply the principle of cooperative effort and be able to induce followers to do the same. Leadership calls for power, and power calls for cooperation.

On Self-Confidence:

“I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me, because I will believe in them, and in myself.”

On Poverty and Riches:

Poverty and riches often change places. Poverty may, and generally does, voluntarily take the place of riches. When riches take the place of poverty, the change is usually brought about through well-conceived and carefully executed plans. Poverty needs no plan. It needs no one to aid it, because it is bold and ruthless. Riches are shy and timid. They have to be “attracted.”

Anybody can wish for riches, and most people do, but only a few know that a definite plan plus a burning desire for wealth are the only dependable means of accumulating it.

Unconventional Wisdom

By: Joseph Norman

“Above all else, be daring, be bold, be unconventional.” - Kevin Rampe

What’s the best way to get out of a rut or simply spice up your personal or professional life? Make it a point to do something a little unconventional. Why? It takes you out of your comfort zone and opens you up to new possibilities.

There’s a lot of doom and gloom going around in the world right now. In fact, the evening news is becoming one of our psyche’s worst enemies. Admittedly, I barely even watch it anymore. I mostly just pay attention to the local happenings, some political updates, and specific articles relative to my business pursuits. I aim to be informed enough to stay well equipped for conversation, but sheltered enough to stay positive.

It’s easy to get caught up in the routines of the day to day so my recommendation is to try something unconventional. For me and my business partner, it was taking our efforts to a new state and trying out our first mini road show to drum up new business. Phone time with potential real estate investors is great, but we decided that face time is even better. So, we dropped our Rochester specific obligations and bought a couple tickets to Florida.

Just the act itself helped us discover new avenues in which we can improve our real estate business. We work with many out of town investors, so we thought to ourselves, “Why not head out of town and meet some?” So, we did and it’s been a very productive trip.

Furthermore, in the spirit of unconventional wisdom, the website Half.com used a unique approach to marketing. They got a small town in Oregon to rename itself “Half.com.” Before that point they pushed thousands upon thousands of dollars into advertising. With just this act, they got more press then they ever got before and for minimal cost; all because they did something a little unconventional.

What can you bring back to your life in Western New York? Despite all the culture, art, and music, there is plenty of opportunity to do something a little bit outside of the box. So, this week’s challenge is to do just that. Break out of the norm and start thinking with some unconventional wisdom.

If we all take a little time to think outside the box, than we can make a more dramatic impact on our community. We live in an ever-changing world which requires unconventional wisdom to make things better. As Mahatma Gandhi would say, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Let’s start trying a few new things in our lives here in Western New York and start shaking up the routine!

Michael Leach

Ben and I got to know Michael through our work at the Livingston County Chamber of Commerce while we were in college at SUNY Geneseo. We were spending time on an initiative to build an international sister region relationship between Livingston County, the Greater Rochester Area and the Eastern Region in Ghana. Michael has been the main bureaucrat representing the City of Rochester during the effort which continues to this day. He has been an instrumental resource in terms of international community development from a political perspective.

Michael’s passion for building an international community is unprecedented. Primarily working as an Engineer for the city, most of his volunteer hours are dedicated to improving and unifying the 11 sister city relationships currently held by the City of Rochester. Meanwhile, in his free time, he plays in an Irish band as well as many other musical groups and dances in a variety of cultural dance troops. It is an honor and a pleasure to feature some of his insights! ~Joseph & the Bigger Impact Team

How did you get your start? Where did you grow up?

I grew up on a farm in Michigan and my aspiration was to be a science and math teacher. When I was getting out of college there were no teaching jobs. It was in the very early 1970s and things were financially tight. I wound up part time teaching and then landed a job as a bureaucrat for the city manager of Jackson, Michigan.

The guy that they brought to Michigan actually worked in Rochester to help resolve many social and racial issues. So, instead of teaching I was working in city administration; ran an airport, a youth program, and did computer programming.

Then, I went to Syracuse University to learn how to be a bureaucrat in eleven easy months at the Maxwell School. Wound up having an offer from Monroe County to work in their budget office as well as an offer from Greenville, South Carolina. It was roughly the same salary and I knew what the music was in South Carolina and in Rochester, so I naturally took the job in Rochester.

Found some musicians soon and ended up in an Irish band here as well as a Folk Dance Troop. Later came over to work with the city. With my connections to the folk dancing troops, I was asked to organize some international performances for the Lilac Festival. So, I did that over in Highland Park for a few years. That was in and around 1983, just one year before the City of Rochester was celebrating its 150 year anniversary. At that point I did my first work with the Sister Cities Program and helped bring in about 175 international people for Sister Cities’ week.

In 1991, I was invited onto the Board of Sister Cities. Since then, I’ve served on a variety of committees and have helped organize many international festivals. All of these things helped me realize and understand the importance of establishing international connections. All of these rich groups of people make up one rich community.

I grew up in a small white, Catholic town in Michigan where at the family dinner at our church you could count on about four different varieties of meatloaf. And the variety would be in whether they would put ketchup or strips of bacon on top.

So, when I came out here and realized there were about 100 types of bacon and hams and many other wonderful things, it was fantastic. I thought you would have to go to New York City or Chicago to find this type of cultural richness, but it is right here in Rochester.

Instead of becoming a city manager and roaming the country every three to five years, I stayed here with my Irish band and my dancing troops and have become deeply involved with the International Sister Cities Program.

We want to rebuild the strong community connection and know that we can develop the plans to be more ambitious. So, I’ve tried to develop our planning abilities and our ability to make contact with the big funders. I want to help build a unified strength in our Sister Cities program again.

What instruments do you play?

For the Irish music I play the banjo, guitar, and tin whistle. When we’re doing North American music I play harmonicas, harps, and other absurd noise makers. During Bulgarian music I’ll use string instruments like tom bras.

If you could meet any three people, who would they be?

Marcus Aurilius. When you read about his writings on stoicism and his time as a military leader in the Roman Empire and later as an emperor, it makes you wonder how he approached his life…its an immense curiosity to wonder how a man like that might think.

I would like to have met the Science Fiction author, Robert Heinlein. He was an Annapolis graduate and went into the Navy on active duty. Then he was discharged and it broke his heart. But, he was involved in military research as a civilian which kept him connected. Through that time he was writing a lot of the early science fiction. His stories focus on an individual; usually a young man who is in situations where honor, duty, humor, and decency to other human beings are a part of what’s going on. Some of his politics I disagree with greatly, but his strong values I admire. When I grew up it was his books in the library so they had a lot of influence on me.

One thing I always remember about him was his self-proclaimed standard of writing. He writes to a “beer standard,” he would say. “A young man has a weekend night coming up; he can go to the store and buy a six pack of beer or my novel. I have to write well enough so that he buys my novel and not that six-pack.” That observation stuck with me about how to measure accomplishments and success. He was being facetious with that but it is a practical application.

The problem is there are hundreds of others, but who would I like to meet in this moment; who would I like to listen to and hear their thoughts? I would like to sit and have a conversation with a historian, Stavrianos. He wrote a book World Since 1500: A Global History. He wasn’t focused on who was the king and what was this war, but rather the development of nations and cultures; people and how they influenced each other.

What advice would you give to Western New York?

Western New York is one of the key industrial heartlands of the United States, although the industries are changing. The rust belt industries are gone and a lot of the manufacturing we are doing now will be gone. It will not survive. We have to learn to change and to snatch the opportunities. We have to look beyond our immediate communities. We have to reach abroad to be connected with the world.

The Sister Cities Program is one thing that helps build those connections but it also helps provide education to the kids and to give them confidence that they can participate successfully in a global world. Western New York has been historically globally connected and it has to stay that way. It has to reach out and train children in other languages, cultures, religions, and philosophies. They must be taught not to succumb to the fears of challenges. Their teachings need to give them the faith and skills to help them become successful in the outside world.

So, my advice is to develop the skills, philosophies, and institutions to let us be connected internationally and survive.

What is one of your favorite quotes?

“No matter how high or lofty the throne, what sits on it is the same as your own.” – Terry Brooks

What is your favorite place to eat in Rochester?

I go to the Mount Hope Diner or the South Wedge Diner because the food is very good and inexpensive and there are some nice folks there. It’s plain, unpretentious, and comfortable.

What is your favorite place to go in the summer in Rochester?

Highland Park. It's a section of the city that really strikes me. I grew up on a farm so I can't stand the feel of the suburbs. Here in the city there is flavor and variety. I love that.

Michael Leach can be reached at Mike.Leach@cityofrochester.gov.

Valentine's Day Secrets

By: Joseph Norman

“But I shall let it remain a secret for ever, since it should not be written of: the most delightful and choicest pleasure is that which is hinted at, but never told.” - Chretien de Troyes

Valentine’s Day is a special day for lovers and a scary day for singles. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that millions of women are freaking out right now because Valentine’s Day is a very big deal to them. Even for men, it’s an easy day to feel loved or lonely.

This life we live is about feelings, emotions, and experiences and words don’t always do them justice. But, I’m going to try for you today because I think there are some important things we can take from the legendary experience of a Valentine’s Day lived well.

My thoughts today stem from the fact that everybody deserves and desires to feel appreciated. We all want to be loved and feel loved. It’s human nature to want that. The beauty of this fact is that recognition, a form of appreciation, is a harmless strain of vanity. It’s a gift we can freely give to lift people up and raise them to new heights.

There are three keys to making someone really feel special this Valentine’s Day; be creative, be mysterious, and be authentic.

Be creative. Do something different. Break the routine. Play a song that reminds you of them on their voice mail. Make a card instead of buying one. Don’t go out for a romantic dinner at some fancy restaurant; instead try creating your own atmosphere in your own place with music and food you both like. Make a short, funny movie together which expresses your appreciation for a mutual friend. The possibilities are endless, so be original with your creation!

Be mysterious. What is it about the “secret admirer” situation that drives us completely mad? The beauty is in the mystery. Who could it be? What is it about you that inspired their sudden attention? Try flattering someone with a random act of kindness. Anonymously send them a note with an honest compliment. Then a few days later, if you want to, let them in on the secret of who sent it. Instill a hint of mystery in your interactions of appreciation with the people in your life.

Be authentic. Whatever you say or do this week to make someone feel special, make sure it comes from a place of honesty. Hollow words are the easiest to see through. Be genuine with your actions and words as that will enable you to make the greatest impact. And, that’s what the spirit of this day is all about, making an impact on someone you value having in your life.

But, why do we have to wait until Valentine’s Day to let the people in our life know we appreciate them? We don’t and that’s our challenge to you now that you’re armed with some knowledge about how to make a deep impact on the people around you. Spread it around all year. Even if it is just a genuine smile and a silent blessing of good will, make it a goal to brighten one person’s day, everyday.

The secret of living is giving. Imagine what our community in Western New York would be like if everyone took just a few minutes everyday to make someone feel appreciated. That’s a place I’d be proud to call home.

Michael Linehan

“Mike and I met over lunch a few months ago courtesy of an introduction by our mutual friend David Mammano. Before we first sat down, I knew he was young, ambitious, and connected to a prestigious Rochester family, but I had no idea what to expect. At that point, I was pleased to find a down to earth man with tremendous charisma and an infectious laugh. The conversation lasted for over an hour at the newest restaurant in his personal business repertoire, Coppergrass Bistro (Farm Fresh Kitchen at the time). He was wonderfully generous with his time and knowledge and we enjoyed a fantastic meal together. Since then I’ve started serving at Coppergrass part time and have come to think very highly of the business operation Michael and his team run; three Rochester Camille’s Sidewalk Cafés and Coppergrass Bistro, a seasonal gourmet restaurant in Pittsford Plaza. He is a true visionary and it is an honor and a pleasure to feature some of his insights!” ~Joseph & Bigger Impact Weekly team

Having grown up in such a well known, successful family, what is it that motivated you to live the entrepreneurial life you lead now?

One of the things I remember my mother saying to me growing up was; “You’ve got to go out and make it yourself. You can’t depend on falling back on the family.” That really stuck with me and as a result, I’ve always been super ambitious. Part of it I’m sure is my genes, but much of the family lineage has had that passion. There have been many entrepreneurs in the ranks on both my father and my mother’s side.

What advice would you give to the people of Western New York?

There’s a lot of opportunity here. We have access to some tremendous colleges and universities right in our backyard. It’s a comfortable place to live with a high quality of life. And, for a person that wants to raise a family it’s a fantastic place to do that.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned in business thus far is experience is the most valuable tool out there. Always be open to learning new ideas and improving things you’re already doing. Educating yourself is essential. Surround yourself with the smartest people possible and really listen to them.

Why should someone live in Western New York?

It’s funny because my three siblings all live out of town now and my parents are snowbirds, so I’m the only one here braving the winters. But, I do have a huge family and a lot of good friends here. The truth is it’s a really nice community. People really care about the town and Rochester has a lot to offer. I love the quality of life I have here; with short commutes and some major cities only a short plane ride away.

What are some of your goals going forward?

Going forward, my business ambitions revolve around looking into new restaurant concepts and continuing the success of the current portfolio. Ultimately, the long term vision is to find a concept that we can grow outside of Rochester and hopefully go nationally. But, for right now, we’re slowing down and making sure the businesses we’re already in are operating as well as possible.

Michael can be reached at: Mike@CoppergrassBistro.com