Sunday, August 24, 2008

JWN: The Moment

The Moment
By: Joseph W. Norman

A recent series of my thoughts have revolved around this statement: “Learn from every interaction.” Over the past few years I’ve truly come to believe that we as humans can learn something from every person we meet. It could be a boy walking on the streets in Ghana, Africa or a CEO sitting across the conference room table. Both have value to add because they each have unique experiences and perspectives on this world we live in. The trick is to be open to learning from them.

My recent thoughts break this concept down just a little bit further to the communication piece. Please note I want you to think about communication in the broadest sense as most information is delivered non-verbally. Therefore, the interaction could be anything from a subtle smile or gaze to verbalized conversation, flirting, or banter. The truth is when two people share a connection at any level at some moment in time it can never be taken away. It happened and hopefully it was beautiful. But no matter the result, much can be learned from that experience.

I’ve expressed before that one of my personal philosophies is the desire to make a consistent positive influence on those I associate with on a daily basis. With my recent train of thought this has developed into an entire frame which relates to all capacities of interactions. It can be with friends, acquaintances, family, intimate partners, business colleagues, clients, and so on.

The frame is this: “I know that in this moment we spend together, thoughts will be expressed, verbally and non-verbally, and feelings will be felt. If this is the last moment we share, I’m comfortable with that if I can walk away knowing it was a positive experience.”

After an interaction I know that if my feelings don’t mesh with that frame, then I’ve been inauthentic in some way and there is something I need to learn in order to adapt and create more positive future experiences. It comes down to making an impact. If the smile and gaze I deliver makes someone feel warm and desirable, if the date I go on with a woman makes her feel energized and playful, or if the written words I share make someone think in a way they never have before, then I know I’ve made that impact. Nothing can take that away. It will forever remain a beautiful part of each of our pasts.

There is a concept which Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, calls a “deep bump.” It has been said that former President Bill Clinton has the ability to deliver a “deep bump” almost immediately with just his handshake and presence. No matter what your political views are, his charisma is unprecedented. What I think is important to consider is that we all have that same ability within us. With every interaction we have an opportunity to make a lasting impression. That is both exciting and challenging.

How do we manage that? First, we become conscious of it. By moving a part of our being to the conscious, it subsequently embeds itself in our subconscious where it can truly manifest into a part of our being. Please note, this is a very Napoleon Hill train of thought and it is one I put much value in. Our thoughts become things.

The truth is people come and go in our lives and the moments we spend with them are even more fleeting. I believe an affinity for that fact and an ability to be comfortable with ourselves and our interactions will result in much more fulfilling experiences. Once this concept is internalized then it can influence our behaviors more dramatically.

My challenge to you is to discover this fact on your own. Start to experiment with my communication frame and look at your interactions as a learning experience. My hope is that it moves you closer to being able to be you on your best day, every day.

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He is currently a full time real estate investor that would love to meet you!
He can be reached at or 607.743.8569.