JWN: Reconnect

Photo Note: My oldest brother Jack and I at Eric and Michelle Canfield's wedding in Port Jefferson, New York.

Reconnecting

By: Joseph W. Norman

Whether we’re talking about business or personal satisfaction, the power of our network of relationships is an irrefutable fact. It seems though that we often focus on meeting more and more people to build that network, rather than drilling down a little deeper into the relationships we already have. It is crucial to reconnect!

This thought stems from my 1,500 mile jaunt across New York State in my little Honda Accord over the last week. With gas prices the way they are, reading that mileage figure probably just made you cringe. It did the same to my bank account. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t take a mile of it back because I got the opportunity to see a variety of old friends, crash a wedding (as my brother Jack’s date), and have a Norman Brothers’ reunion!

There is nothing better than a face to face reunion. Phone calls from old friends are fantastic, but a cup of coffee together is even better! Whenever I travel I try to make plans with somebody I haven’t talked to in a while as it’s my opportunity to reconnect and deepen a relationship! That is a practice we should never take for granted!

Your action plan:

Know where your friends live. This seems simple, but people are always moving. Know where your friends are so when you’re traveling through their city you can catch them in person. I keep a detailed log of my contacts on my laptop and in my Blackberry. Also, resources like Facebook, MySpace, and LinkedIn are helpful.

Plan a trip around an event. Get yourself away from the office and actually go somewhere! Vacation is not a crime, it’s a necessity! Take your car and a day or two and see who you can find. Most of my traveling revolves around business conferences or special events like concerts, weddings, reunions, birthday parties, etcetera. Both are opportunities to reconnect! My recent trip revolved around a Thursday wedding in Port Jefferson on Long Island.

Be flexible. Plans change so be ready to adapt. Always have a Plan B. If one door ends up closing, it doesn’t mean another couch won’t make itself available! I’ve exercised that one plenty of times!

Follow up. After the adventure, thank those you reconnected with for their time and hospitality. Be grateful for them and let them know it! Giving thanks is a wonderful feeling!

Just do it! Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself. What is your next reconnection trip going to look like? You don’t have to go far. The friends 10 minutes away are just as important as the ones ten hours away!

Our relationships need to be nurtured. Give them what they deserve by devoting a little more time and energy to the ones you already have. It’s what makes life truly worthwhile!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: Competitive Advantage

Competitive Advantage

By: Joseph W. Norman

With that title you may expect me to start talking about business development or profit models. Some of you may anticipate some Michael Porter quotes or references to his competition theories. But, that’s not what you’re going to get because most people just don’t find that quite exciting. Instead, let’s talk about the competitor inside each of us. There is a little fire inside all of us which just enjoys winning. That is our personal competitive advantage.

This thought came about while I prepared mentally for the Boilermaker 15k which I competed in over the weekend. To be honest, my endurance training wasn’t exactly stellar going into this event. In fact the last time I ran 10 miles straight was probably five or six months ago, so I knew it was going to be challenging. With this in mind, what made me want to wake up far too early on a Sunday and punish myself? It is one of my favorite races with over 11,000 participants, so the competitor inside of me couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by!

Many managers I know, especially sales team leaders, absolutely love to hire athletes in their offices for this reason. They’ve mentally trained that fire inside which loves to win. If you can create a system which helps unleash the competitor inside of your people, then your team is going to knock the numbers out of the park. I guarantee it.

What does this mean for you personally? Get hungry! Remember the times in your life when you were excited about winning. It could be the glory days on the high school football field or the collegiate track meets, the dance competitions or the golf matches. Whatever it was for you, think about the feeling you had when you prepared and competed. Then, focus on that rush of emotion when you achieved the big win you or your team had!

Now, think about how you can apply that winning attitude towards your personal and professional life. I’m not saying to go challenge your eight year old nephew to a WWE style no holds barred cage match, but rather to contemplate how you can win with things like your relationships or finances. This will do wonders for your personal health! Professionally, you can focus on those sales or research goals. Not just the company’s goals for you, but your personal goals which I’m sure are much loftier! Make them your own and think of them each as a little competition with yourself.

I’ve been a competitive athlete for nearly a decade and in that time I’ve learned a few strategies which have helped me perform at my best. These have been the foundation to my personal competitive advantage. Here they are:

Visualization. Know your objective and picture every moment of that experience in your mind long before it actually happens. When the time comes to finally make that presentation, you’ve already rehearsed it for the last three weeks in your mind.

Positive self talk. When you are finally in your race, don’t let negativity creep in and steal your thunder. Keep your mind focused on affirming your desired success.

Sweat equity. You have got to work your tail off to achieve that victory. No ands, ifs, or buts.

Guts. It takes courage to put yourself out there. You have to accept the possibility of failure while also staying convicted on the belief that failure is not an option.

These four key tenants have been the basis of my athletic career and they make up the competitor inside of me. I have since adapted them to my personal and professional life. I challenge you to give them a try in your own life! Hone your personal competitive advantage and go get your victories!

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

JWN: First, Best, Only

Photo Note: Cynthia Oswald, Chamber President, Joseph, & Carl Lutz, Chairman of the Board (Media Credit: Bob Oswald)

First. Best. Only.

By: Joseph W. Norman

“First, best, only.” This is a principle I learned from Cynthia Oswald, President of the Livingston County Chamber of Commerce. It isn’t a concept you’ll read in the Harvard Business Review and you won’t see it on the front page of the Wall Street Journal, although I wouldn’t doubt it if I saw Cindi there soon. This idea is a way of life. It’s an attitude and a personal belief system.

In her own words:

“Leadership is the act of growing. Using your accumulated power for the good. Knowing you have never truly arrived, no matter what your title, position or salary is. Life is a journey full of choices and opportunities. One of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt, "Do one thing everyday that scares you." I am constantly trying to grow personally and professionally and that often creates a feeling of fear. If you use that fear to motivate yourself to take another step forward, life-long learning will be second nature to you and you will be perceived as a leader by others. Opportunity abounds for all of us! It is when we choose to ignore it out of fear that we get stuck in mediocrity. I have had many jobs and careers in my lifetime and I have always had the same attitude. If I am going to get up and go to work everyday, I want to be the “First, best, only.” Why not?” – Cynthia Oswald

To really take your current role to the next level, you need to think of what hasn’t been done yet. What is the differentiating piece? When I worked as a Risk Analyst at the Fairport, NY based investment firm, Manning & Napier, I heard this lingo every single day. In the financial services industry the differentiation element is the foundation for all investments. In business, it propels the competitive advantage for a company.

This isn’t just a business concept though because it can be applied to your personal life. We are all unique individuals with our own natural and beautiful gifts and passions. If we leverage the creative concept of “First, best, only” we can maximize our efforts!

ACTION PLAN: Think about your life today and contemplate what parts of it could be stepped up a notch with a “First, best, only” idea. Share this concept with your colleagues and brain storm a list! I guarantee there is at least one area in which you can achieve more by doing something different!

I am blessed to have a friend like Cindi Oswald. Recently, we helped each other achieve our own, “First, best, only,” moment. On June 20, 2008, I graduated from the Livingston County Chamber of Commerce’s ten month leadership development program, Leadership Livingston. The New York State Business Council and the Chamber Alliance of New York State confirmed that I am the first student in New York to ever graduate from a program of this kind. First, best, only!

The opportunities are out there to make your mark on this world. First, best, only is a lifestyle which can help you achieve that desire! Give it a try! As Norman Vincent Peale once said, “Change your thoughts and you can change your world!”

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer of Notable and Newsworthy and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

James Traylor

James Traylor

I met James during my tenure at the State University of New York at Geneseo. A few mutual friends of ours kept urging us to connect, but in the haste of our ambitious lives, we kept delaying. Until one afternoon we finally met over lunch at Miceli’s Deli on Main Street in Geneseo.

Since that point, James and I have developed a close personal and business relationship. His unique view of the world and desire to add value meshes considerably with my own. That correlation keeps us thinking bigger and motivating each other in our respective pursuits!

James recently made a difficult, but rewarding, decision to move his financial services practice from Northwestern Mutual Financial Network to the MassMutual Financial Group in Rochester, New York. There he will pursue his intense passion to better serve the disabled community by directing the company’s Special Care program. This same passion is what inspired me to make James my personal Financial Advisor.

James’ intelligence, work ethic, and sense of humor truly make him a pleasure to be around. He is well on his way towards making his mark on this world we live in! ~JWN

VIP: What is your definition of success?

James Traylor (JT): Success to me isn’t something you feel in the moment. In fact it usually takes a third party to point out my own successes. If you can look back at something with genuine awe; feel that it represents your best work and that you are ready to move on to bigger and better things…that’s success to me.

VIP: Who are some people that inspire you? Why?

JT: Much of my work of late has centered around the disabled community. There are children in Rochester living with cerebral palsy that have more courage and strength than anyone I know. To wake up every morning and struggle with daily tasks like putting on clothing or brushing your teeth –things we all take for granted—and then have the courage to face a society that looks down on you or feels sorry for you when in fact you are a perfectly normal person with just different abilities… that to me is inspiration.

VIP: What do you consider to be some of your strengths? Weaknesses?

JT: Learning has always come easy to me. As long as I can remember I have been obsessed with novels, textbooks, magazines, papers, radio programs… you name it. I did not have cable television until I was 14 (don’t have it at 23 either) which probably explains why I can’t recite any Saved by the Bell episodes but I can tell you about U.S. foreign policy since the 1900’s.

I consider myself a very confident and outgoing person. This has served me well in many different ways and actually is a bi-product of all my years of competitive swimming—or more specifically in a Speedo. From the time I was 12 I was heckled by all of my friends who played football, soccer, etc. for wearing Speedo bathing suits. Over the years I built up a pretty thick skin. I’ve since shed the tight suits for real suits but the skin still stuck.

As for weaknesses there are plenty. I get so focused on what I want to accomplish that sometimes I can lose sight of other people’s feelings. I lose patience with individuals who are lazy, ignorant and expect results without work. I have been working very hard on being more tolerant though! I get anxiety about many things and worry entirely too much about things that are out of my control. I’m also a food and wine snob!

VIP: Where do you want to be in 1, 3, 5, 10, and 20 years from now?

JT: I am a very goal oriented person and have a vision board of all the things I want to accomplish. With that said my biggest goal professionally is to build the largest special needs planning organization in Western New York within the next five years. I am extremely excited about the progress I have made thus far (progress not success) and look forward to building something bigger than me as a person.

Personally, I want to continue to grow and mature in my relationship with my girlfriend Courtney. No target date for marriage, kids and all the other facets of the American dream. However, I will certainly be buying my first house in the next 12 months.

As for the more eccentric goals: I want to have a fully stocked 1,500 bottle wine cellar complete with a tasting room. This will be attached to my Gentleman’s Lounge where I will have a mahogany bar that properly pays tribute to my one true vice—single malt scotch.

VIP: If you could pass any bit of information on to the world, what would it be?

JT: Thinking you are too old or too young to accomplish something is foolish. Stop making excuses and go take on the world!

VIP: Now, I know you recently made a difficult decision in terms of your career. You switched from your financial services practice at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network to Mass Mutual. What is your new role at Mass Mutual and what are some of your career goals with this move?

JT: You are right in that it was an extremely difficult decision. I really struggle putting things in perspective sometimes but nevertheless, I left something great for something even greater. All in all it was the right decision.

I will be directing the Special Care program for MassMutual here in Rochester. Special Care is a program that serves to help families and individuals with special needs plan for the future. In Rochester we have a host of resources for the disabled community yet there is a tremendous gap when it comes to long term planning.

Families fail to realize that assets in excess of $2,000 can completely jeopardize an individual with disabilities from receiving the benefit of programs such as Social Security Disability Insurance, Supplemental Security Income, Medicare & Medicaid.

Furthermore, no one takes the time to help a family figure out how they are going to pay for the cost of health care for their child with special needs down the road. Other key measures include; where he or she going to live and how they keep the benefits they already have for their child. And, they still need to plan for their own retirement! It can be overwhelming.

This program really is my baby so to speak. I am building our process, image, team, business and marketing plan – the works. While I have several financial planners who will be helping me with the casework and to get up and running--after that this is my show.

VIP: What is your personal motivation behind your work with the Special Care program at Mass Mutual?

JT: I think to really do a good job for families you have to demonstrate a certain level of understanding that can only come from personally seeing how challenging life with a disability can be. For me this understanding and empathy comes from my youngest sister Nathalie. Nathalie is a beautiful, outgoing 12 year old with various developmental disabilities. For example, she can play Mozart on the piano, recite entire Disney movies and yet can’t tie her shoes or count money. She just has different abilities.

VIP: Tell me a little bit about your family?

JT: My parents had me relatively young (age 23), my sister Emily 5 years later, and then Nathalie much later in life. We were the quintessential struggling American family growing up. Both my parents worked very long hours just to make ends meet. As a result, I found myself in the role of a “third parent” from an early age. For example if we wanted dinner at 6 it was up to me to get things cooking. Emily and I have the typical brother/sister relationship while Nathalie sees me as more of a caregiver. We have always been a very close family and I am very grateful how things have worked out.

VIP: If you could meet three people from any time period, who would they be?

JT: Sir Ernest Shackleton. I encourage anyone to read about the fate of his Antarctic exploration; quite possibly the most incredible demonstration of human will ever! The other two would be Sam Adams and Marco Polo.

VIP: What are some books, quotes, or audio sets you would recommend?

JT: I listen to a lot of personal stories of individuals that struggled in financial services and then went on to become great. I am in an extremely challenging industry and knowing others have struggled too is very valuable.

As for a book and move, I am a tremendous believer in Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret.” Positive thinking is a powerful thing!

And, the audio version of A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. It is narrated by Matt Damon and as he would say, “It will really blow your skirt up.” (from Good Will Hunting)

VIP: Final thoughts?

Dream BIG!

Everything is negotiable.

Age means nothing.

All Americans should read more.

Obama in 2008.

James Traylor

MassMutual Financial Group

E: James.Traylor44@gmail.com

C: 518.598.4847

JWN: Success is a Choice

Success is a Choice

By: Joseph W. Norman

“Look at the word responsibility—“response-ability”—the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.” – Stephen Covey

In our lives we make choices every moment of everyday. We decide how we react to the situations that come across our path. Will we let that negative occurrence ruin our day? Or, will we empower ourselves with the minor setback and let it propel us to success? As Covey references, we have a responsibility to ourselves to understand the power of our choice. What do we choose to do with our gifts? These decisions create our reality.

My thought inspiration this week comes from a few places. The first is an article, “What Successful People Believe,” which was given to me by a wonderfully insightful young woman I recently met. The piece summed up my last six weeks of thought in approximately one single spaced page. Humbling. I know. The other source is the great Tony Robbins. His thoughts and videos focused on human needs and the power of choice have absolutely captivated me.

Now that I’ve referenced my sources and framed my thoughts, what does all of this lead to? It is the fact that success is a choice. Who we are is derived from a series of decisions we made days, months, or even years ago. You have to make up your mind as to how you will respond to what comes your way. And, you need to decide how you will try to make new things happen. The history of our beautiful world is the result of these decisions. Makes you think a little bit, huh? What you are doing right now matters.

Tony Robbins breaks down our responses to the six human needs. This has been the study of his life over the last thirty years. The first four needs are of the personality. They are “Certainty, uncertainty, significance, and connection and love.” From the spiritual side, we need, “To grow and to contribute beyond ourselves.”

Let’s take it further:

Certainty. We need to have some consistency in our lives. Sureness of things like our health or financial resources needs to be there. Otherwise we may lose control.

Uncertainty. Despite our need for stability, we also need variety and challenge. Without that we can become bored.

Significance. We all need to feel important, special, and unique.

Connection / Love. Most people settle for connection because love is too scary. Nonetheless, we need it. It can be through intimacy, friendship, or prayer. It could even be from a walk through nature.

The next two are foundational needs of the human spirit and they work in conjunction with each other. These are the most powerful needs because through them we find fulfillment in what we do.

Growth. The reason we grow is so we have something to give of value. The person we dream of becoming is most likely not who we are today. We must grow to attain this goal!

Contribution. The secret of living is giving. It is not about ‘me,’ but ‘we.’ We must make decisions in our life that allow us to contribute with our unique gifts.

These six needs define who we are and they filter what decisions we make on a daily basis. How we prioritize them provides our life with direction. What needs we choose to focus on frames our reality.

Personally, my top two priorities for quite some time have been significance and contribution. My chief aim is to add and create value for people. Hence, my personal philosophy: “I aim to make a consistent positive influence on the people and communities I associate with on a daily basis.” And, although a bit narcissistic, I enjoy being recognized for these actions. Can you blame me though? We all enjoy being desired. It helps us validate our actions. My passion for notoriety and value creation is what motivates the entrepreneur in me.

On another note though, it is crucial to develop balance in our lives with the six needs. Thus, I am now taking a more active approach towards connection and love, an area which I’ve always appreciated but sometimes neglected in my past. We must manage our human needs so we can find our own personal fulfillment.

You can know what to do intellectually, but not do it. So, decision is the real power!

ACTION PLAN: What are your priorities? Which needs are at the top of your list? This choice moves you through everyday of your life! Think about it carefully!

“Life is a gift. It offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” - Tony Robbins

We must savor that gift! Our personal fulfillment depends on it! Choose to be who you truly desire to be; not for someone else, but for yourself. “All this can make your world a different place. That is for sure!”

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

Kevin Skidmore

Kevin Skidmore

I have known Kevin Skidmore since we were very young. We grew up and attended school and church together through our early years. Being a couple of outgoing nerds, we connected quickly and maintained that relationship all through high school. When college hit, I ended up at Geneseo and he stayed in the area to complete his Associates Degree at Broome Community College. Then, he ended up at Geneseo. My housemates were gracious enough and jointly invited him into our home at 69 Second Street in Geneseo.

Although his personality, on the surface, is rather laid back, Kevin, deep down, is a caring individual with noble aspirations. He is off to Ohio State University in the fall to start his grad work in Optometry. He no doubt has a promising future ahead of him. It is my pleasure to feature him and continue the series of the 69 Second Street graduating seniors! Enjoy some of his insights! ~JWN

VIP: What is your definition of success?

KS: Being happy. I would love to be a millionaire, but more importantly I want to settle down and have a family. Money doesn’t always bring success. Dying happy, for me, would be a success.

VIP: Who inspires you? Why?

KS: All sorts of people inspire me. There are many individuals, but I feel that the type of person that inspires me is someone who sets goals and does what they need to achieve them, without blaming others when they fail. I know I’m not the perfect example of this but, that’s why these people inspire me. J

VIP: What do you consider your strengths? Weaknesses?

KS: When I really set my mind on something, I can buckle down and do what I need to do to complete the task, no matter what. Along the same lines, I can get discouraged by failure pretty easily. Unfortunately, my life is a too even mix of these too. I’d like to move the scales over more towards my strengths and less on my weaknesses!

VIP: Now, I know you are planning on pursuing a career in Optometry, having been accepted to The Ohio State University’s nationally renowned program. What interests you about optometry? What do you hope to bring to that profession?

KS: I enjoy the medical field as a whole, but I like optometry because everyone has eyes, and most everyone uses them every day. I’ve had glasses most of my life and I know what it’s like to be visually impaired, so I hope to be able to help others be able to see and prevent some from having to deal with different debilitating eye diseases. What do I hope to bring? Well with my degrees in Math and Engineering, maybe I can do some inventing. Hopefully figure out a way to help everyone see, no matter what condition their eyes are in.

VIP: Tell me a little bit about your family?

KS: My parents, Terry and Tonya, are celebrating their 25^th wedding anniversary on Wednesday. My older brother Kyle is going back to school. My mom’s parents are retired, healthy, and enjoying life and my father’s parents just retired about a week ago, and are preparing to have a another kid…me! I’ll be staying at their home in Ohio over the next four years while I attend school out there. Meanwhile, my Great Grandmother is living on her own down in West Virginia, at 96 years old. She’s a trooper. J

VIP: What are some short term and mid term goals for you?

KS: Short term – graduate at the top of my class at OSU. Long term – get married, have two kids that grow up to be good, contributing citizens. Own at least one optometry business and travel into space; whether it’s with NASA or with Richard Branson on Virgin Galactic. I don’t care how I get there, but I will be in space, even if it’s just my ashes.

VIP: What are some compelling books, movies, or shows, that have made a lasting impression on you?

KS: Well this may sound nerdy, but anything that is Star Trek. I’ve watched, not necessarily read, but watched, attended, and listened to most of the Star Trek material out there. It gave me my love for space and technology, and I feel it will help me with my life goals.

VIP: What are some of your hobbies?

KS: Computers and technology. I also love cars, car electronics accessories and their installation. I really enjoy adding aftermarket equipment inside cars. I also like spending money on all of the above.

VIP: Who are three people, from any time period, that you would like to meet?

KS: Muhammad Ali, Will Smith, Neil Armstrong.

VIP: If you could pass one piece of information on to everybody in the world, what would it be?

KS: Get over it, life’s not fair but take what God gave you and make the best of out it. If you don’t like where you live or your job, or your situation, do something constructive to change it, don’t just look for free handouts. Don’t get me wrong, take the handouts when they’re given, but don’t make that your life.

JWN: The Ripple Effect

The Ripple Effect

By: Joseph W. Norman

"Few have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and, crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." - Robert F. Kennedy

Everyday our words and our actions send out waves through the world. With my recent curiosity of thought power and the wonders of the mind, I’ve come to believe that our thoughts do this incredible act as well. Everything we do sends impulses away from us; through people, places, things, and even ideas. What does this all mean though? What impact are the conversations, thoughts, and actions we carry through everyday having on the world around us?

I have conviction in the fact that what we do has more of an influence on the universe than we could ever imagine. Strangely enough, in this creative act of writing, I’m trying to decipher the concept which I just declared unimaginable. A paradox indeed! Nonetheless, it is not always about finding the perfect solution, but rather defining and toiling with the problem which creates the most value. My act here is putting the issue on the table for all of us to ponder.

First, a situation described to me recently by my friend Tricia. While in Switzerland, she had a conversation with a man in Italy who was coming back from a job interview. He was describing his situation as follows; the company was offering to keep him in Milan, Italy or send him to do similar work in Spain. In their conversation, the man changed his mind from staying in Italy to taking the chance and moving to Spain. The course of that man’s life was altered with that dialogue. All of this came about from an interaction with a complete stranger!

My executive coach, Jenn Sertl, consistently tells me, “When someone gives you their ear, they lend you their world.” That’s a powerful thing to think about. It always puts life into perspective for me when I hear it. What it helps me remember is the validity of one of my personal mantras; “Our words and our actions will always do one of two things, build people up or tear them down.”

To this day I recall things that people have said to me which have influenced my life. Some of them are more negative then others but they propelled me to great triumphs. Once, an individual who need not be named said to me, “You can’t get into SUNY Geneseo. Don’t even bother applying.” About a month ago after I walked across that stage as a graduate from the College Honors Program at Geneseo with a B.A. in English, I remembered those words and I smiled because all along I knew the truth.

What matters though is not my triumph, but rather the idea that those two sentences stuck with me for five years. Though I did not dwell on them and make them the reason for my drive to complete my undergraduate experience at Geneseo, they did make their mark on my life. What I took from that experience was that most often in life it is the negative quips that people use against each other which live the longest in our psyche. They strike so quick, but the wound they leave can take years to close.

Reflecting on that fact over the years has really made me think about the power of our words. It has even moved me to my personal philosophy; “I aim to make a consistent positive influence on the people and communities I associate with on a daily basis.” But, why do I think this way? It is because I know that my words and my actions, like my friend Tricia’s, could change the course of somebody’s life. And, that change could end up meaning the world to someone who will now cross their path.

When you start to weigh out the depth of this concept, you begin to think a little more before you speak. Your planned actions are suddenly more important. That witty insult you were going to make in jest at a colleague loses its luster. Your heartfelt discussion with an old friend over lunch reverberates a little deeper. And, the casual conversation you strike up with the woman in front of you in the security line at the airport takes on a little more meaning. Your world is changed the second you begin to consciously consider the ripple effect.

“There is a ripple effect in all that we do. What you do touches me. What I do touches you.” - Author Unknown

Thank you for lending me your world. My sincere hope is that you believe you are a better person for it.

___

Joseph W. Norman, resides in Macedon, NY, and is Chief Enthusiasm Officer and Editor of The VIP Profiles. He offers lectures and keynote talks on leadership, personal, and professional development and is always up for a business lunch.

Joseph can be reached at Joseph.W.Norman@gmail.com or 607.743.8569.

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